THE BOOKS OF 2004: THE FIRST DOZEN

Some years ago, I decided to take New Year's Resolutions seriously (as I wrote in my very first post on this blog, which was itself the result of a New Year's Resolution). And about three years ago, I made a New Year's Resolution to make a list of books I wanted to read and actually read them.

This is one of the more successful New Year's Resolutions I have ever made. I currently have about 75 books on my "to-read" list, which seems to keep getting longer. But I was able to knock a few off the list this year, and thought I'd share them with you. (Really good books have links to their amazon.com site.)

So here in (what else) alphabetical order are my Books Of 2004 -- or at least, the first 12 of them. More to come tomorrow (or so)------

A IS FOR ALIBI, by Sue Grafton. A Christmas present from my husband, who every year tries to find Agatha Christies I haven't read, and every year ends up duplicating something already on the shelf (it's those alternate titles that throw him every time).... I have to say, as a longtime Agatha fan, I wasn't that impressed with Sue Grafton. I guessed the murderer (correctly) around pg 60, and didn't find her detective all that fascinating. But definitely readable when you're in a cozy hotel room with rain pouring all around. And since they're set in Santa Barbara, only 100 miles away, it's fun to visualize the places I already know. Still, if you're looking for a great murder mystery, I'd say go back to Agatha (or try the Charlie Chan mysteries -- the books, not the movies -- if you can find them, given their current aura of political incorrectness).

THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER, by Mark Twain. Obviously not the first time I've read it, but I reread it for the first time since (probably) high school for the Great Books reading group I rather infrequently attend. I remembered bits and pieces of it (whitewashing the fence, Tom and Huck coming to their own funeral). Really delightful, with dialogue that just sings. Not nearly in the league of its "sequel," Huckleberry Finn -- but isn't it good to know that a sequel can outdo the original sometimes?

AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH: PUBLIC DISCOURSE IN THE AGE OF SHOW BUSINESS, by Neil Postman. Not a new book, of course, but a valuable read always. I think everyone in Hollywood should read this every few years to remind ourselves (in a sort of "the medium is the message" way) of what our culture has lost (and is losing) in the rush toward 24/7 entertainment. With some years behind the publication of this book, we can see how very prophetic Postman was -- and it'd be fascinating to discuss what it all means for us here and now.

B IS FOR BURGLAR, by Sue Grafton. Okay, I got the first 3 for Christmas, and I did actually read the first two. So I can't put them down too much. I can't imagine buying number 4, though, unless stuck in an airport w/ nothing to read. (And I am compulsive enough to have to read them in alphabetical order.)

BOBOS IN PARADISE: THE NEW UPPER CLASS AND HOW THEY GOT THERE, by David Brooks. ***Reviewed on this blog 3.31.04***. Interesting, but probably not as incredibly enlightening as it could have been. "Bobos" stands for "Bourgeois Bohemians" -- the concept is that these two formerly estranged segments of society have merged. Read my review if you're interested.

THE CALL OF THE MALL: THE AUTHOR OF WHY WE BUY ON THE GEOGRAPHY OF SHOPPING, by Paco Underhill.***Reviewed on this blog 9.18.04***. I had to link this book to amazon because I find myself referring to it all the time. Every time I walk into a mall, I find myself thinking about how badly the bathrooms are hidden, or wondering why no one has taken Underhill's advice about angling window displays, or any of a zillion little thoughts he has. Really a fun read for anyone who has ever gone shopping at a mall and had a shred of frustration.

CARPE MANANA, by Leonard Sweet. ***Reviewed on this blog 9.30.04***. The book that made me the maddest this year. What a load of self-indulgent, faux spiritual, pretentious crap. Read my review if you want to see a real rant.

THE CRIMSON PETAL AND THE WHITE, by Michel Faber. I really debated on whether to add a link to this book, because I found it haunting. However, it's far from everybody: It's the story of a London prostitute in the 1800s, and as such, is full of necessarily graphic sex scenes. But the characters are incredibly gripping, and really stayed with me after I put the book down. And the story twisted in ways I could never have predicted. I loved it. But again, not for everybody, by a long shot.

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHTTIME, by Mark Haddon. ***Reviewed on this blog 6.17.04.*** Easily the best fiction I've read this year. A must-read. And read it before the movie is made -- while a movie will be fascinating, no movie will capture this book fully. A brilliant novel.

THE DA VINCI CODE, by Dan Brown. ***Reviewed on this blog 8.29.04.*** What a waste of time. A shaggy dog tale masquerading as something important. Sacreligious, badly plotted and self-important. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, " indeed. Read something else instead.

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, by Lauren Weisberger. ***Reviewed on this blog 7.20.04.*** Really not that well written, but I kept reading. A look inside the fashion industry that feels all too real. Probably if you're interested, you've already read this one.

DOWN AND DIRTY PICTURES: MIRAMAX, SUNDANCE, AND THE RISE OF INDEPENDENT FILM, by Peter Biskind. ***Reviewed on this blog 8.24.04.*** A rather chilling account of the rise (and fall?) of Miramax. Very discouraging for anyone who (like us) is waiting to receive "back-end" money from Miramax. The author clearly has an ax to grind here -- and he grinds it very well. A must-read for anyone working in this world.

................Okay, you've got about 1/3 of my 2004 reading there -- I hope you find something you want to read for yourselves. More to come tomorrow.......

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST

I have a friend who doesn't look forward to Christmas at all, because one year when he was a boy, he and his family were evicted on Christmas Eve and had to spend Christmas Day in a homeless shelter.

My childhood Christmases weren't anywhere near that horrible, but they sure weren't something you'd want to paste into a photo album.

My dad, an atheist, hated Christmas with a passion. We always had the world's smallest (and cheapest) tree, with a total of 2 strings of lights and 3 boxes of glass balls, and he complained the entire time he decorated it. No decorations elsewhere in or on the house. He spent the entire season saying, "Don't buy me anything," then refused any presents he did get (other than cheese and fruitcake -- he is the one person I've ever known who truly loved fruitcake).

One year, after he had spend the whole year griping about how cold he was in the evenings (too cheap to turn on the heater), my mom knitted him the most spectacular afghan you've ever seen -- all Celtic patterns and luscious wool. My dad spent the year saying, "That better not be for me." And when, on Christmas, it turned out it was for him, even though it was beautiful, and exactly what he needed, he refused to accept it. My mom and I bought a roll of wrapping paper that said "Bah humbug" all over it to wrap the gifts we forced on him -- that roll lasted for years.

My mom, raised Jewish, had desperately wanted Christmas her whole life. As a child, she hung out stockings and set out cookies for Santa, but of course he never came. And all her many aunts mocked her for her longing faith in Santa. So she wanted to do Christmas when I was a child, but didn't have a clue what to do or how to do it. And of course got no encouragement from my dad.

So, since my dad wouldn't shop, I had to buy all the gifts (2 or 3 at the most) for my mom, knowing that her happiness depended on my making the right choices. As often as not, she'd end up spending Christmas day sobbing.

Christmas morning was pretty dismal around our house. There would be a total of about 10 gifts under the tree. I don't remember any specific presents that I got, pretty much ever. When I got to high school and college, I would escape as soon as I could and walk over to my friend Diane's house for the afternoon, where the living room would be a disaster zone of dogs playing in wads of wrapping paper, people sitting around eating non-stop, and presents stacked as far as the eye could see. It was wonderful.

So I grew up. I got married. I didn't have to spend Christmas at my folks' house anymore (whew!). Lee and I began slowly, informally, to amass our own Christmas traditions. And then we had kids. And the traditions turned into rituals.

So now, every Christmas, we have stacks and stacks of presents under the tree -- far more, I'm sure, than Diane's family ever had. It's a little embarrassing, in fact. But even in the lean years, we have gone for quantity. (One year, soon after we were married, Lee managed to get me 26 presents -- mostly vintage (read "thrift store") jewelry and paperback books -- but he labeled them "A" through "Z," scattered them randomly around the tree, and insisted I had to open them in order.) This year, our kids may be getting some of their gifts from the local Goodwill and 99 Cent Store -- but boy, do they have gifts to open!

More traditions that have sort of come to exist.... We light Advent candles during the month before Christmas. We cut our tree down at a cut-your-own-tree lot in Pasadena (and the kids and Lee play Marco Polo in and among the forest of trees while Mom pays for the whole thing). We always do a shopping pilgrimage to South Coast Plaza, some 50 miles south of us (or, as it has apparently just been (accurately) renamed, "South Coast Shopping Resort" -- and all you non-Southern Californians, that tells you just what you need to know!), as we pick up Grandma to join us for a few days.

On Christmas Eve Day, we bake a birthday cake for Jesus. Usually, Jesus has favored chocolate cake with chocolate icing and sprinkles, but this year He seems to be going for lemon. On Christmas Eve, we go to church, with Sabrina dressed to the hilt, and the rest of us pretty much hoping everyone is just looking at Sabrina. For the last couple of years, we have gone to some good friends' for Christmas Eve potluck dinner -- and they'd better watch out, because, as we've learned, 2 years in a row makes it a ritual in our house! Ham and goodies and Christmas carols around the piano.

Back at home, we each open one present before going to bed. No cookies for Santa (if you've read earlier posts here, you'll know why), but we light Jesus' birthday candles and sing "Happy Birthday" and eat some cake.

Christmas morning, everyone gets exactly what they want for breakfast. Our kids have not fully grasped what this can mean yet -- though this year Sabrina is moving in that direction, having placed an order for chocolate-chip-and-M&M-pancakes topped with ice cream, and chocolate milk. Fine. She gets it. It's Christmas. We don't open presents till breakfast has been made and eaten, which I realize is probably pure torture for the kids.

And then we get to the presents -- this year, thanks to the kindness of our friends, there will easily be 100 gifts under the tree for the 5 of us (lots of used paperbacks and hair clips and stickers and the like this year, but hey). And always, a pair of Christmas ornaments for each of the kids, with their names and the year. The way I see it, God is lavish with us. As we tell our kids every year, that's the reason we are so lavish with each other.

We don't do Christmas dinner -- Too much work, especially for so few of us. Sometimes we go out to a Jewish deli (virtually the only place open on Christmas), but this year, that will probably be too much for my mom (who is still prone to breaking out sobbing on Christmas Day). Maybe we'll order in. Or maybe we'll just sit and eat all the goodies currently waiting for us under the tree.

I sort of envy my friends who pull out the heirloom ornaments handed down through generations. Who fly home to formal dinners for 38. Who have so many siblings and cousins that they have to draw names out of a hat to figure out what presents to buy. Who have real families and real memories of Christmases gone by.

But, to paraphrase Mr. Rumsfeld, you don't go to Christmas with the traditions you'd like, you go to Christmas with the traditions you have. And we have done our best to invent traditions that actually seem to work for our kids, even though they have no years-of-being-handed-down-across-generations behind them.

So off we go to South Coast Plaza today, to begin the last leg of traditions.... I hope your Christmas will be beautiful this year, merry and bright and full of ritual. Merry Christmas!

THE GIFT FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EVERYTHING AND STILL WANTS MORE

I saw in the newspaper yesterday the ultimate stupid gift.

It is a flyswatter. A rather lovely flyswatter, actually. And it should be, at $50. (Yes. That is not a typo. $50. For a flyswatter.)

The special thing about this flyswatter? It guarantees to only stun the fly, rather than killing it.

PETA would approve. I do not.

MOVIE THOUGHTS: WHITE CHRISTMAS

Okay, I know White Christmas hasn't just hit the multiplexes, so it may not seem like the most obvious movie to comment on. But one of our family traditions is watching it every year, and last night was the night (with both kids absolutely riveted, by the way, to a 50 year old movie). And I had a couple of thoughts as I watched.

Thought #1: I'm assuming you've seen the movie, which is charmingly built around a fairly flimsy plot: Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, as celebrity performers, team up to put on a show to save their former general's Vermont inn, and as a result end up with Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen.

And the whole plot hinges on a misunderstanding: Bing Crosby heads to New York to appear on the "Ed Harrison" (=Ed Sullivan) show to put out a plea to their former WWII division, asking the guys who live in New England to head to Vermont, come to the show, and do something nice for the general. But Rosemary Clooney thinks he's going to exploit the situation, make the general look "pathetic," and make a mint of money in the process by boosting publicity for the show. And she is shocked. She blows off Bing Crosby completely, won't even talk to him, leaves Vermont so as to not be around him.

And what turns the relationship around? She sees the Ed Harrison show and realizes that Bing Crosby in fact is not exploiting the general -- and she heads straight back to Vermont to apologize and the two fall back in love and it starts to snow and everyone is happy.

And as I watched this, I realized how far we have come. Nowadays, who would think twice about exploiting someone's situation? It's the way the world works now. Being a victim is something to celebrate, something to use, a way to work the system. Think about it. As weepy and lovely as Extreme Makeover: Home can be, it's exactly the same situation as in White Christmas: Someone learns their friend has hit hard times and uses the reach of TV to let their situation be known nationwide so as to bring about a solution.

In 1954, the presupposition was clearly that doing such a thing was dishonorable, shameful. (Note that no one has to justify or explain Rosemary Clooney's behavior.) Now it's cool.

How did we make such a radical paradigm shift in expectation and attitude in 50 years? And is it a good shift? Or a bad one?

Thought #2: White Christmas belongs to a venerable tradition of Hollywood "Let's Put On A Show!" movies. (Think Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.) A problem exists, and it's solved by people putting on a show, and everything ends happily.

Now, when we watch these movies, we pretty much know where to suspend our disbelief. We all know that, in real life, putting on a show may be fun, but it doesn't significantly change many people's lives. It's a fun thing to believe for two hours, but in real life, well, problems rarely get solved that way.

And after I watched White Christmas last night -- where, yes, the general has a lovely evening, but really, that show is not going to save his inn in real life -- I thought about the Christians out there who are so fired up to make a movie. If we just make this one movie, lives will be changed! And they write big checks, and they throw everything into one project, and it's made outside the system, made for less money than is really needed to do it right, and it's finished, and it doesn't get distribution because it's not that good, and a few people see it, but mostly it goes straight to video and slips out of the public's awareness (if it was ever there in the first place) without a trace....

And I realized: These Christians have bought into Hollywood's "Let's Put On A Show" concept a little too sincerely. They've, in a sense, bought into a Hollywood myth without even realizing it, often while thinking they're bucking the Hollywood system.

One movie -- one "show" -- is not going to solve the world's problems. Not even The Passion of the Christ (which, for Hollywood's purposes, has indeed sunk beneath the surface without a trace). One movie, made outside the system, will not even solve Hollywood's problems. And the thought that it will is a concept that was promulgated (possibly even invented) by Hollywood itself.

So go rent a copy of White Christmas, put all this out of your mind, and just enjoy it for the lovely bit of fluff that it is. And may your days be merry and bright, indeed.

MISSING COMMENTS

It has come to my attention that some of y'all may have been posting comments to this blog (I love comments!), but somehow they are not appearing when I boot up the blog. Hmmm. I'm tempted to blame AOL for this, just because it's so easy. But I really don't know how to fix it. Any ideas, anyone?

And just to test this -- over the next couple of weeks, I will reply to comments that I can read. If you write a comment and I don't reply, would you mind e-mailing me and letting me know you commented? Thankx.

I'll be back in a day (or less? who knows?) with blogging about Christmas traditions and about hospitality, and also my list of the books of 2004. Maybe more stuff as the spirit moves. Don't go away! We'll talk soon.

NO SANTA FOR ME

I may be the meanest mom ever.

Why? Because I told my kids from the get-go that Santa Claus wasn't real.

I'm probably working out my own issues here, frankly. When I was a kid, I of course believed in Santa. And then, as one does, I learned that he wasn't real. In essence, I learned that my parents had been lying to me.

But that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that I could see that it mattered incredibly to my mom (who is Jewish and has incredibly complicated issues involving Christmas) that I continued to believe in Santa. So for a couple of years, I pretended to believe. I lied my ears off to make my mom happy.

And what did I learn from this experience? I learned that it is remarkably easy to lie to my parents and make them believe me -- knowledge that stood me in very good stead through my junior high and high school years, I have to say.

So when it came time to start the whole Santa thing with my own kids, well, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to them about something that -- at a kid level -- is so incredibly important. I couldn't do anything to put them in the position to say, "You lied about the Santa part of Christmas -- were you lying about the Jesus part of Christmas as well?" And I couldn't do anything to make them feel they had to lie to me.

So from the beginning, we've told our kids that Santa is the fun, pretend part of Christmas, and Jesus is the real part of Christmas. For Cory, it never seemed to matter all that much. But for Sabrina -- oh, it matters. And do I feel guilty.

Because Sabrina wants to believe in Santa so badly. She wants him to fly around the world in a night, stuff himself down chimneys, the whole bit. She wants Rudolph, the North Pole, all of it. She's even announced, rather defiantly, that she believes in Santa no matter what I say. (Though she is having severe issues about the existence of the Tooth Fairy.)

She's just at the age where she should be figuring out the truth. And she already knows it. But she just doesn't want it to be true.

Maybe I'll give in this year. Maybe I'll agree to stand in the looooong line at the mall --- for the first time ever --- and let her sit on Santa's lap and list off her Polly Pocket dolls and her nail polish and her Barbie videos, and explain how she's been a good girl. I know she'll love it (as Cory looks scornfully on from his 10-year-old wisdom).

At least I'll know I never lied to her.

THE TOP ISSUES, D.C. VS. HOLLYWOOD

We had a wonderful couple of days this week dialoguing with folks from a reading group of senior aides on Capitol Hill who have been meeting for almost 10 years to discuss how to engage the culture for the kingdom of Christ. This was the continuation of a dialogue that Act One began almost two years ago when we visited Washington for a whole string of meetings with like-minded people.

The D.C. folks have met with many Hollywood types back east, but this was their first visit west. It was fascinating to see these two disparate groups meet and find common ground.

As part of one of our discussions, the D.C. folks wanted to present their take on the top five issues facing our culture. We -- the Hollywood contingent -- responded by compiling very roughly our own ideas about the top issues facing the culture. I thought I'd share the two lists with you -- See what you can add or amplify!

(And keep in mind -- the D.C. guys have been honing their list for years, where ours was ad hoc'd together in a matter of a couple of days. And where we have, for instance, 3a and 3b, it's because those items tied in terms of importance for our group.)

Here's the Hollywood list:

1) Moral relativism
The devaluation of truth. The loss of the concepts of right and wrong. The loss of the understanding of evil. The increasing secularization of American history.

2) Extremism and division
The polarity between the political parties. The pervading sense of "us vs. them." The view that compromise is failure. The culture gap between the "red" and "blue" states. The increasing disparity between rich and poor.

3a) Lack of role models
Children's adulation of rap artists/movie stars/athletes. The loss of trust and esteem for political, civic and religious leaders. The cultivation of greed and envy as positive values.

3b) The sanctity of life
Abortion. Stem cell research. Cloning. Euthanasia/assisted suicide.

3c) The disintegration of the family
Loss of commonalities to hold our families and communities together. The issues of gay marriage and gay rights. Divorce.

4a) The loss of civility and decency
The failure to see others as created in the image of God and therefore worthy of respect. Hate crimes. Rampant bad manners. Christians who behave as badly as non-believers.

4b) Environmental issues
Environmental and economic sustainability. Our responsibility for God's world. The Christian response (or lack thereof) to God's charge to "take care of the Garden."

4c) Overdependence on political solutions
Christian dependence on government to solve problems that are spiritually-based. Inappropriate-placed trust in our political leaders to give us inner peace and security.

---------

Okay, here's the Washington folks' list of issues. It's interesting to see where we agree (for instance, we marveled that we both chose the same number one issue -- I think they thought we were going to say 'runaway production'!)... and where we differ.

1) Worldview
The role of entertainment in shaping the worldview of our culture. The need to rediscover transcendent truth as the basis of reason, morality and meaning.

2) The Dignity of human life
Abortion. Cloning. Euthanasia. Human rights violations. Intelligent design.

3) Marriage and family
The reduction of marriage to a legal contract. Children's health and education. Community building. Protecting the marriage covenant.

4) Sexuality and gender
Restoring sex to its proper place within the context of marriage. Homosexuality. Sex trafficking. Pornography. Obscenity.

5) Compassion and justice
AIDS, especially in Africa. Restoring dignity to the poor. Racial division. Religious liberties. Human trafficking and slavery.


Okay, there's the two lists.... so weigh in with your own thoughts......

PRAY FOR MICHELE

Although we haven't seen any substantive answers to the hundreds of prayers that have ascended on our behalf, I nevertheless have no choice but to believe that prayer changes things. Therefore, please add to your prayer lists Michele Doman, mother of Regina, a faithful reader of this blog.

Here's an abridged version of Regina's note:

Michele, the mother of the ten Doman children, was awakened by a heart attack in the early hours of the morning Dec. 7....

Last we heard, the doctors were preparing her for open heart surgery.

Michele was in good health and... the heart attack "came out of a clear blue sky."

Many of the Doman children are en route to join their parents at the hospital.... Apparently the doctors found a blockage in the heart that will have to be repaired through surgery. John [Michele's husband] is asking everyone "to pray as though it is serious."

NEW QUOTE

I have a sneaking feeling that I forgot to change the "Quote of the month" in November.... If so, my bad. I've changed it now.

A rocky week ahead, but I promise to post some interesting stuff in a day or so. We're going to be having a discussion between Christians from Hollywood and Christians from D.C. about what are the top social/culture issues facing our culture today, and the differences (and similiarities) should be interesting.

Back to you soon.

FINDING NEVERLAND

I see that the National Board of Review, usually the first critics' body to give out their awards, has given Finding Neverland their highest award this year. A good choice, indeed.

I saw Neverland back in October, and neglected to blog about it at the time (I guess my world was too busy collapsing). But I should have, to tell you all to go see this truly lovely movie.

Neverland was not at all what I expected, I have to say. Knowing only that it was the story of how James Barrie wrote Peter Pan, I expected it to be quite dark, with all sorts of psycho-sexual undertones. Boy, was I wrong.

The movie is actually lovely, sweet, even pure in a way. And absolutely magical -- the moment where Barrie and his wife go into their separate bedrooms early in the movie is one of freshest, most beautifully visual moments I can remember in a recent movie.

It's also a three-hankie tearjerker -- the only fact that would keep me from taking my kids. So be warned -- take some kleenex.... This is also the movie that made me an unabashed Johnny Depp fan -- okay, I believe what people say now: He can do anything. I'm sure he'll get nominated for an Oscar. I hope he wins.

I'm really happy for the recognition this small movie is getting as well because one of the executive producers, Michelle Sy, is a friend of ours -- we worked with her on a couple of projects when she was at Miramax. (And those of you who watched the first season of Project Greenlight will recognize her from that.)

So everyone, race out and see this lyrical movie. Truly a treat and a delight.

REMEMBERING TO GIVE THANKS

I commune with my heart in the night;
I meditate and search my spirit:
"Will the Lord spurn for ever,
And never again be favorable?
Has His steadfast love forever ceased?
Are His promises at an end for all time?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His compassion?"...
I will call to mind the deads of the Lord;
Yea, I will remember Thy wonders of old.

-Psalm 77:7-10, 12

I wish I had many new things to give thanks for this Thanksgiving. But I don't. So all I can do is look backwards, as did the Psalmist in the above psalm. You can almost feel him gritting his teeth and forcing himself to find something (anything!) to be thankful about. But he does force himself to do it. And I guess that's the point.

I am helped immensely in my ability to look backwards by a spiritual discipline, I guess you could call it (though not much of one) that I started years ago after the concept was introduced in a Bible study I was attending. It was mostly actresses -- and me. And one meeting, our leader had us number a piece of paper from 1 to 100 -- then we had to fill in every line with something we were thankful for.

It was a wonderful experience. We went around the room reading our gratitude out loud at random (we would all ready, say, line no. 11. Then line no. 62. You get the idea). The funniest moment came when, on the same line, the group leader and myself had listed the same thing to be thankful for (the bougainvillea outside our window).

I loved that evening so much, I started doing it myself every month. I have a little notebook, and on the first of the month, I open it up, I number to 50 (all I can fit on the page), and I start listing what I'm thankful for.

I have missed some months. Especially when my kids were born, and I was just too exhausted to even notice what I was doing. But I now have over 12 years of gratitude (again, with some gaps). And when I too am wondering (as I am) "Has God forgotten to be gracious?" -- well, I just have to take out my notebook and read.

And since I can't chronicle a lot of more timely stuff, I will do what we did that night, and pick a random number -- let's say #19 -- and list here the last 2 years (I'm not going to make you read 50 or 100!) of items I listed in gratitude. Many of the things listed will seem petty and selfish, I'm sure (I might even be quite embarrassed -- but I'll list them anyway). But if we can't be grateful for little things, then we're not likely to manage it for big things.

Here we go...

11/04 A lovely phone chat getting to know a mom from school (whose daughter has a crush on Cory!)
10/04 My addictive computer games from popcap.com
9/04 Cory and Sabrina having lots of playdates right before school starts
8/04 Answered prayer
7/04 Our agent agreeing to speak to our students at Act One
6/04 A barbecue for our writers' group at our dear friends Nancy and Bob's home
5/04 Getting through the Brownie meeting where I was in charge of the whole thing (teaching "Manners")
4/04 A wonderful day at Legoland with Lee's half sister and her family, whom we hadn't seen in years
3/04 The privilege of serving on the Act One Board of Directors
2/04 Sabrina being excited about my birthday coming up
1/04 New workout clothes
12/03 Sabrina helping fix Thanksgiving dinner
11/03 Spiritual protection
10/03 A visit with our former nanny Arlene and her boyfriend [now her husband!]
9/03 Getting great evaluations from Act One students
8/03 Sabrina learning to cut her own nails
7/03 Getting caught up on overdue bills
6/03 Fasting
5/03 Cory's growth spurt
4/03 Being present for the moment our friend Bob "came to" from viral encephalitis
3/03 Great meetings with an out-of-town producer who wanted to do a movie about the life of Paul
2/03 A great lunch with David Schall [who died 2 mos. later]
1/03 Michael Chabon's "Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay"
12/02 E-mail
11/02 Being able to throw our annual Christmas party

....Okay, my look back does indeed, as it turns out, help me look forward (-- even though from here it looks as if I'm looking forward into an empty pit of terror).

Here's wishing you all many big and little things to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

KETCHUP VS. MUSTARD

In the last week or two, I have found myself telling so many people about Malcolm Gladwell's fascinating article about ketchup and mustard that I figured I'd better post it to all of you as well.

When you go to the supermarket, why are there dozens of variations on mustard on the shelf, but basically only one kind of ketchup? Think of all the answers you can, then read this article. The answer will surprise you.

Hope you enjoy it!

10,000 AND COUNTING

It sort of woke me up last night when I scrolled to the bottom of my blog and saw that the counter had clicked over to 10,000.

Wow. 10,000 of you have bothered to check in on what I might have to say. (Okay, yes, I know, some of you have come back more than once. Hey, I check my stats -- some of you come back more than once in a day. But let me enjoy the moment, okay?)

That's a little over 1000 people a month. If I stood on a street corner, I doubt I could get 1000 people to listen to me. If I wrote my thoughts out and tried to mail them to newspapers or magazines, I'd probably send out 1000 copies to get one response. So let's hear it for the web.

And let me take a moment to say thanks. It's been a real blessing to meet a few people in person, also a blessing to get e-mails and comments from you all. (And take that thing about "comments" as a hint!)

It's fun to write stuff that goes out as a first draft, without even proofing. I don't do that anywhere else in my life -- I'll even rewrite thank you notes. So this is kind of freeing, in a way. Writing without pressure.

I am humbled that so many people have bothered to read what I have had to say. And I'm encouraged to keep doing it. Thank you for reading.

A nice little milestone to pass, that's all.

We'll chat again like this at 100,000. (Or maybe 20,000 -- I doubt I can wait that long!)

THE FEELING OF HAVING WRITTEN

People often ask me, "Do you like to write?"

I usually answer, "No, I like having written."

That's not entirely accurate, of course. Sometimes, on those rare occasions when everything is flowing and the words are coming and the images are pure and beautiful and clear -- writing can be a joy. But no matter what, the feeling of being done beats the feeling of facing the blank page any day.

All of which is to say that, we have finally finished a script we have been working on the better part of this year. Called simply Galveston, it's the story of the Galveston hurricane of 1900. It's Titanic on land. Romeo and Juliet set against the greatest disaster ever to hit the U.S. (Pick your logline.)

Normally I would be feeling a great sense of relief and joy by now. Unfortunately, we have far too much riding on the reaction to this script. So that relief is instead replaced by anxiety (what if everyone hates it?) and that emptiness that comes with having the greater part of your day's schedule removed.

If y'all feel so inclined, pray for our little 117-page baby as it goes out into the cold, cruel world of Hollywood. I'll be sitting here chewing my nails.

And in the meantime.... I guess I'll have more time for blogging! (Now I just need something to blog about.....)

IT'S OVER

Yes, I know people are still voting as I write this. I haven't even voted yet -- I'll do it on my way home from school with my kids, continuing my own parents' tradition of dragging me to the polling place with them every election.

And I know the votes haven't been counted. And I know even when the votes are counted, we may still not know who the winner is (As The Daily Show has been calling their election 'coverage': "Prelude to a Recount").

But here's what's over:

--No more nasty cartoons e-mailed to me purporting to slam Kerry but in reality making nasty anti-Catholic statements.

--No more "voting guides" that make often vastly wrong assumptions (a) about my political party, (b) the specifics of my political opinions, and (c) my ability to make my own choices.

--No more smug, "aren't-we-smart" e-mailed columns and jokes that amount to character assassination of the nastiest kind.

--No more hearsay and rumors -- with the people sending them insisting that no, it's not hearsay, they're not rumors, because they're read it all themselves on the Internet.

--No more "God-is-on-our-side" screeds implying that, therefore, the "other" side is Godless, evil, and really should go straight to hell without bothering to stop at the polls.

This election makes me want to cry. Listening to my kids chant "one nation, indivisible..." at flag salute in the mornings almost does make me cry. I wish someone would hire me to write a Civil War movie, because right now, I think I have an inkling how it felt to be alive at that time.

How horrible it must be to be in a "swing" state! No one even bothers to air the nastiest commercials in California -- a small blessing, I suppose.

I am so numb from all the nastiness (on both sides -- no one's hands are clean in this one), that I hardly even care who wins tonight. (Or tomorrow. Or next month. Whenever.) Just so long as it's over.

And then maybe we can start treating one another as human beings again, worthy of respect regardless of the color of our state or the slant of our opinions.

Maybe.

HALLOWEEN SCROOGE

I hate Halloween.

My kids disagree with me, of course. In fact, they'd like to be in charge of the holiday, telling me what to buy, what they should wear, how to decorate. All I'd have to do is write the checks.

But that's not gonna happen. Because I am in indeed a Halloween Scrooge.

Let me take you through what Halloween means around here.

It starts in late September/early October when the pumpkin patches start to go up around town. Now, this is L.A. So many of the pumpkin patches charge admission (some for charity, some just to make a buck). Some of them have bounce houses -- that you need to buy tickets for. Or petting zoos -- again, buy those tickets. The pumpkins themselves are priced by size and/or weight. A pumpkin the kids consider adequate can easily run $20 or more.

(This year, we were at Costco when I spotted decent-sized pumpkins at $4 each -- we grabbed one for each kid. Whew -- no trip to the pumpkin patch!)

Then we need to carve the pumpkins. But the kids don't want to do much of the carving, and they certainly don't want to spoon out the glop. So guess who gets to do the job she doesn't give a rip about? And, oh, Mom, make sure you save the pumpkin seeds to roast them!... Of course, no one ever eats them, they get moldy, we throw them out.

And the pumpkins get moldy too. All black and gooey on the front porch. But they don't go to waste. The ants love 'em.

Okay, next we have to decorate the house. Because of course, a couple of jack o'lanterns won't do it. Especially on our highly Jewish block, where few people decorate for Christmas (so they make up for it on Halloween).

So off we go to the Halloween store. And every year, I have to say, the Halloween store gets creepier and creepier. This year the highlights were a ghoul that crawled across your lawn and tore off its own head ($200 for that beauty), and a "demon rat" that's eating something undefinable with blood pouring out of its mouth.

Other than the ubiquitous witch-crashing-into-a-tree, there's really nothing at the Halloween store that I would be willing to put in front of my house. Nothing. Even my kids, this year, asked to leave the store because it was "spooking them out."

Our solution? We go to the 99 Cent Store, I give them a few bucks each, and they buy cheap little things like rubber mice and glow-in-the-dark spiders to sprinkle around the front door. They're sorely disappointed. Well, you know, my wallet would be sorely disappointed if we did anything further. Not to mention my sense of propriety -- Funny, but I've never felt the need for a full graveyard with all sorts of demonic apparitions in my front yard, even if some of my neighbors do.

Okay, on to costumes. Every year, it's a fight. Cory wants to be something gory, bloody, gross. Nothing evil, I proclaim. So we go on to the arguments: Zombies aren't really evil, he insists, because they couldn't help becoming zombies. Same with vampires. No, I respond. We go to the costume store. He looks longingly at everything with blood pouring over it. I say no. He begs. We stand and stare at costumes for hours. He hones his negotiating skills by trying to bargain.

Eventually we reach a compromise. This year, he's a mummy -- we're tearing up a bedsheet for the occasion. Last year he was willing to be Frodo, because the LOTR movies made him cool -- though he would rather have been a Ringwraith. The year before we settled on a ninja. The year before I made him be SpongeBob -- and he sobbed for an hour before going to school, afraid everyone would laugh at him. (Instead, they all laughed at the kid who came as a remote control -- and who also cried for an hour before going to school, his mom told me.)

Sabrina's not so difficult. A princess one year. A mermaid another year. Queen Amidala. This year she's a baton twirler (she took a class in kindergarten and has been practicing). Whew.

We also get to do a second costume for Cory's Wednesday night program at church. This one has to be a Biblical character. And the kids have to memorize a verse about their character and make a little presentation -- draw a picture, sing a song, etc. Hey folks, ever realize these kids have homework? And that their parents are already putting together one set of costumes?... This year, we managed to back Cory away from wanting to be the angel guarding the Garden of Eden (boy, was that a violent costume he had planned!). Instead he took a stuffed lion and a generic robe and went as Daniel. (I have to admire the chutzpah of his best friend, who wore his little sister's bride costume and went as the Church.)

Let's not even go into the cost of all these costumes. Badly made (usually) outfits that don't look that great, cost a fortune (I could easily spend upwards of $100 per kid if I chose), and will never be worn again. Okay, we have used Frodo's sword again -- but those hairy hobbit feet are just sitting in the closet, lonely.

Off we go to the Halloween Carnival at school. Parents spend hours setting up booths so kids can win tiny plastic spiders, temporary tattoos of evil design, or CANDY! The kids don't set up the booths, under the thought that it would take away from their learning time -- but who's going to learn a thing when in costume and all sugared-up?!

But I really look forward to 6th grade -- the year of the Haunted House. Of course, the 6th Graders can't spare the time from learning to do the work -- so the parents spend (I hear) two weeks getting it ready. All so the little kids can have nightmares.

And then we head off to friends' Halloween parties -- which involve more haunted houses. And peeled grapes and soggy spaghetti don't cut it any more. These are like taking a trip into the pit of hell itself. Lovely. More nightmares.

Finally we get to Halloween night itself. Fortunately, we are in a nice neighborhood, so we don't have to fear pranks. Unfortunately, we are on the only level, safe street in the whole neighborhood, so everyone comes to our block to trick-or-treat. Last year I bought 14 industrial-sized bags of candy. And I ran out.

Why, I ask myself, am I spending up to $100 on candy for people I don't know? Well, because I have to. I feel like I'm being held hostage.

So out we go, trick-or-treating away. With our special candy-buckets that we had to buy, of course. And home we come, lugging pounds (I weighed it the other year -- something like 8 pounds each) of candy. And what will happen to all that candy? Why, my kids will eat it, of course! High fructose corn syrup, tooth-rotting sugar, refusal to eat anything healthy because we're all stoked up on candy -- Ah, the joys of Halloween!

We have, the last few years, instituted the "Halloween toy store." The day after Halloween, we allow the kids to "buy" toys with their candy. That way, they save only the candy they really, really want (a couple dozen pieces, usually), and we can take the rest and dump it or give it away. (Or let it hang around so I end up eating it -- look, another reason to hate Halloween!)

Problem with this is, it costs a lot to set up the Halloween toy store. I have to go out, find the toys (harder and harder, the older they get). Spend the money to buy toys to redeem candy I didn't want in the first place.

By the time it's all over, I could easily spend $300 on Halloween -- and that's without throwing a party or doing any major decorating! And why? For a holiday that celebrates one of two things: (a) Open depictions of degenerate evil or (b) Candy.

When I was a kid, you made your costumes out of your mom's old clothes (I still have a great college-vintage can-can girl costume made out of, basically, my mom's old underwear). You stuck a pumpkin on your front porch -- maybe (It was enough to just turn the porch light on). And you took a paper bag and walked down your block and got enough candy to maybe last to the end of the week (and that was with your mom and dad parceling it out). There were no scary decorations. No one went out of their way to celebrate or even depict evil. It all took half an hour, and it was over.

I realize other people disagree with me about Halloween -- including other Christians. For a possibly more balanced view, I refer you to John Fischer's lovely website, and specifically to his article about Christians and Halloween.

But as for me, I can't wait till it's over.

SIX MORE DAYS

I am frankly sick with this entire election. I can't wait for it to be over. And regardless of the results, it's hard to believe how anyone could be happy given the divisiveness, lies and ugliness that have pervaded the entire process. (And I'm in California, the most populous state in the nation whose votes, we are assured, don't really count this election. I can't even imagine how hideous things have gotten out in the "battleground" states!)

I got particularly peeved when I received earlier today, several e-mails telling me how to vote on everything from the presidential race to our local city and county measures. Every single one of these e-mails purported to be the one-and-only "Christian" way to vote.

That's why I want to share with you a breath of fresh air I received today in the mail -- an essay by Richard Foster ("Celebration of Discipline") printed in the newsletter published by Renovare.

I hope it helps you breathe just a tad easier through all the on-air muck, too. And then I swear -- no more politics. I promise.

Last January I promised that since the United States is in an election year I would this fall address the theme "The Kingdoms of This World in Light of the Kingdom of God." I committed myself back then, in part, so I wouldn't back down once the political rhetoric had risen to fever pitch (which it has) and I had become so totally disillusioned by it all (which I have) that I would be tempted to throw up my hands (which I want to do) and proceed on to some less polarizing topic. But, having committed myself to the topic of our civic responsibility, I will do my best to say something that I trust will be helpful.

At the outset I had better make a disclaimer: If you are wanting to come away from this essay knowing who to vote for in this presidential election, you will most certainly go away disappointed. I would not tell you that, even if I had great clarity on the subject (which I do not) since it would remove from you the responsibility of free moral agency, which each one of us is called upon to exercise before God. I do, however, have some theological convictions that surround civic responsibility, and those I am more than happy to share with you -- I'll limit myself to four. And perhaps, just perhaps, these four convictions will give you some guidelines for working on election matters in your own region and context.

1. I must give my first and ultimate allegiance to the Kingdom of God and of his Christ.

No human being, no nation/state, no political party, no religious demonation or institution can have that allegiance; only the one true God. Always and at all times we seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness that is inherent in that kingdom life (Matt. 6:33).

In 1659, Edward Burrough, a British Christion leader, wrote, "We are not for names nor men, nor titles or gobvernment, nor are we for this party or against the other... but we are for justice and mercy and truth and peace and true freedom, that these may be exalted in our nation, and that goodness, righteousness, meekness, temperance, peace and unity with God, and with one another, that these things may abound."

2. I must always distinguish between authentic patriotism and nationalism.

Authentic patriotism concerns itself with love of country and pride in its highest ideals. Further, it insists on a clear-eyed understanding of the failings of a country and a call to make them right. Nationalism, on the other hand, is a blind loyalty of country and a refusal to consider any shortcomings or weaknesses in that country. With nationalism, "my country" must always be on the side of truth and light; "your country" is always on the other side.

The God-given task of the state is to provide for justice, stability and peace for all people alike (Rom. 13:1-7). When it does this, we commend it; when it fails to do this, we critique it and prophetically witness against it. This is authentic patriotism and a true virtue.

3. I must give witness "for life" as consistently and as unambiguously as possible.

This witness needs to weave its way throughout all human experience, from the womb to the tomb. This means seeking ways to protect the unborn. This means standing against all forms of prejudice which would dehumanize people precious to God. This means working to eliminate poverty and other dehumanizing social conditions. This means witnessing for peace and reconciliation everywhere possible and laboring hard for genuine alternatives to war. This means seeking out creative alternatives to capital punishment. This means rejecting euthanasia and instead working for a more compassionate end of life environment.

In seeking a deeply consistent "for life" witness, our major political parties have not served us well. The Republican party has tended to be a bit better in the arena of personal ethics; the Democratic party has tended to be a bit better in the arena of social eithics. But neither party gives us a witness that is directed consistently toward life, and they both seem trapped by positions and constituencies that render them unable to provide any creative leadership in these matters.

4. I must give special consideration and protection to the weakest, most vulnerable members of society.

I mention this because the Bible does... viforously, and in doing so, it is expressing a deep reality about the heart of God. God really does care for the marginalized, and so should we. Have you ever noticed the innumerable times Scripture singles out for special care the widow, the orphan, the alien, the stranger, the soujourner, the child, the poor? The Biblical concern for the powerless and defenseless is consistent and vigorous. This is why James could lay it down as a mark of pure an undefiled religion that we would "care for orphans and widows in their distress" (Jas. 1:27). The late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin once said, "Our moral, political, and economic responsibilities do not stop at the moment of birth. Those who defend the right to life of the weakest among us must be equally visible in support of the quality of life of the powerless among us: the old and the young, the hungry and the homeless, the undocumented immigrant and the unemployed worker."

How all this is done is a real Gordian knot. Some groups emphasize individual initiative and local community engagement. Others stress the role of government and social institutions. Still others want laws enacted that will ensure that we become a more compassionate society. I must admit that I tend to think that if our hearts were right towrad the poor and marginalized, any one of these approaches would yield the desired end. But then, that only explains why I am not a politician!

May God be with you as you seek to sort through these matters and make your way to the polls this November 2.

SO YOU WANNA COME TO HOLLYWOOD.... Part Three and Last

Here comes the last part of my essay for the upcoming Act One book: Greetings from the Church in Hollywood. I've already talked about the wrong reasons and some possible right motivations for coming to Hollywood. Now I want to talk about what you should bring when you come.

Again, any and all comments are welcome -- Help out Spencer our editor!

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So now you've throught and prayed deeply over your motivations for coming to Hollywood. You've tested your desires. And you think you're ready to make the move, take the leap.

But what should you pack for the journey?

I'm not talking about sunscreen here -- though you certainly will need some. I'm talking about attitudes and attributes that will make it possible for you to survive in Hollywood without crashing and burning. Take a look over the following list and see how many you can check off. If the answer is, "Not that many," please think twice: Maybe you should save yourself a lot of grief and pain (I mean that quite seriously) and bloom where you're already planted.

Talent. So you make videos for your church. You sang in the talent show in high school. You write a Christmas newsletter that's the envy of your whole list. And everyone always says how talented you are.

But Hollywood is the big leagues. Lots of people are fine baseball players in Little League. Quite a few play with distinction in high school. Some keep playing in college. A few even make it to the minors. But only a very very VERY few get into the major leagues.

We all love to deceive ourselves. We think we're way more talented than we are. Or, sadly, we think we're far less talented than we are. Or we think that because we're Christians and God is on our side, talent doesn't matter.

Talent does matter. A lot. That's why it's at the head of the list. Are you talented enough at what you do for Hollywood? You may not really find out till you get here. But you will have to have a realistic assessment of your talents at every step of the way.

Someone once asked Steve Martin for his advice on how to make it in show biz, looking for the secret, the hidden password. Mr. Martin's answer? "Be so good they can't ignore you."

A desire to serve other people. Unless you're well-born into the business, you will have to pay your dues. And they may take a lot longer to pay than you expect. Are you ready for eight years of working at a job you don't love? Ten years? It could take that long to get your break.

Are you willing to work in a subordinate position? To be an assistant? A gopher? To work hard, earn little, and let someone else get the glory?

We knew someone who, right out of film school, got a job in the mailroom at a major agency. Now, a mailroom job is pure hell. Cruel treatment, no pay, horrible hours, brainless work, constant blame. But at the end of it, if you survive, you know all about the business, you have comrades who will do anything for you, and you have begun a network of connections that will serve you well the rest of your career. No wonder mailroom jobs are hard to get.

So this guy we knew got one of these prized, horrid jobs. And after a couple of months -- He quit. He was too good, too smart, too talented, he explained to us, to pick up other people's dry cleaning.

You know what? It wasn't that he was too good. It was that he was too proud. And his career (not surprisingly, with that attitude) went absolutely nowhere.

We, as Christians, know that we are always servants. So we should have the best attitudes around. Sure, it's a challenge. But if anyone can meet that challenge, it should be us. Shouldn't it?

Faith. Do you know what you believe? Do you know why you believe it?

You'd better, because your faith will be tested in Hollywood in every way possible -- from the temptation to just sort of not mention that you're a Christian, to outright attacks and mockery of what you believe.

People will ask you to compromise. People will lie to you. People will insult your God. Is your faith strong enough for you to handle these situations?

You will also go through times when it seems as if God has abandoned you. It's so easy to believe that God loves you when you have a steady paycheck, a pretty home, people who love and support you all around. But take those away -- and see if your faith stands strong. Will your faith stretch to meet these situations?

Fortitude. It will take you years to break in, and more years to reach the level of career you're now dreaming of. If you ever reach it, that is.

Can you persevere for all those years? Do you have the patience to wait?

And do you have the courage to face up to all the disappointments? All the rejections? The sheer bravery to get back up after being slapped to the ground again and again, and to say, "Okay, I'll try again. Better this time."

A good learning curve. To quote Peter Guber, "This is a business with no rules -- but you break them at your peril." No matter where you're coming from, you'll have a whole new set of rules to learn.

Sure, you'll make mistakes. And you'll get second chances. But you better not keep making the same mistakes. If you can't learn from your mistakes -- and learn quickly! -- you won't survive.

Love for people in the biz. Especially if you grew up on a warm, sheltering Christian environment, you will probably meet people in Hollywood unlike those you are used to.

Can you get along with people who feng shui their offices, seek advice from psychics, and take the astrology column seriously? How about with militant gays who think you're the enemy? Or people who lead a life of sexual recklessness and substance abuse? Or people who've never set foot in a Wal-Mart and think nothing of spending $800 on a pair of shoes (and look down on anyone who doesn't spend that kind of money)?

If people don't like you, you won't work. If you send out a vibe that says you don't like them,well, chances are they won't like you.

Of course, loving these people is way better than merely liking them. And as Christians, we should have a head start on that. Shouldn't we?

Wisdom. So many Christians come to Hollywood with "kick me" on their backs. They're well-meaning, sweet, kind... and flat out naive. [Add appropriate quote from Proverbs.]

When God offered Solomon anything he wanted, Solomon had his chance to be rich and famous. But he chose wisdom instead. We need to make the same choice if we're to survive.

You need God's wisdom to understand the various agendas at work around you. To understand who's your friend, who's your ally, who's your enemy. To know what projects to pursue. What projects to quit. "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em..."

Seek wisdom if you want to come to Hollywood.

A hunger to improve. So many Christians come to town with a good level of talent -- and never get any better. Don't let that be you.

You must be willing -- hungry! -- to get better. You will never fully master your craft. You may have to learn radically new technology, jumping from linear editing to non-linear, from film to video, from digital video to high definition. The better you get at your craft, the more you'll discover how much there still is to learn and master. Which is great, because it means you'll never get bored!

Hollywood is not a place for the lazy.

Hope.

Life in Hollywood is a life of disappointment. There are hundreds of qualified people out after every job. I can't imagine anything more discouraging than showing up at an audition, and looking aorund to see 50 other people who look like you, sound like you, are dressed better than you, and probably went to school with the casting director.

Can you walk into that situation and hang on to your hope? Can you take the inevitable rejections and simply say, "Okay. Move on" without feeling personally devastated? (Okay, I admit, it takes some practice. But you'll have plenty of chances.)

"Our hope is built on nothing less / Than Jesus' blood and righteousness..." Most of the folks in Hollywood build their hope on far less than that!

Energy.

It takes a lot of work to break in to the industry. It takes a single-minded focus. That's one of the reasons younger people have an easier time: They've got the energy, they've got the lack of commitments elsewhere that allow them to commit fully to the task ahead of them.

"Make the most of every opportunity," Paul tells us, "because the days are evil." The days are evil if only because they keep on passing, and suddenly you wake up and realize you've been here 12 years and you're no further along than when you started. Make the most of your energy while you have it.

Your job may also be physically demanding in ways you don't expect. Many directors start strenuous workout schedules as part of their prep before a movie starts, because they know how physically tough it's going to be. Women directors warn each other, "Wear comfortable shoes," because they know the day will come when they'll be so tired they can't put one foot in front of the other. Billy Crystal once said in an interview that he was skipping hosting the Oscars that particular year because he needs five months to get physically and mentally in shape -- for one night's work!

Commitment to a church. There are lots of great churches in Los Angeles. And there are lots of great reasons to skip church -- the beach, the mountains, brunch, the Sunday paper, sleeping in, work...

But if you don't make a commitment to a particular body of believers, then honor that commitment at every opportunity, your faith will falter. Guaranteed.

And we're talking a real commitment here. Not church-hopping from one place to another, even if you aren't happy with the selection of members of the opposite sex at your given church. Make a commitment. Join a church. Get plugged in to the Christian community in Hollywood. And show up.

A way to earn money. L.A. is not the cheapest place in America to live. (Though it's not the most expensive, either. People from back East often marvel at how cheap our heating bills are, for instance!)

Can you make enough money to pay rent? For how long? Do you have a "day job"? Skills that you can use to get one?

Lots of people come out with enough money saved up to last, say, six months, assuming they'll get their big break, get cast on a sitcom, sell a script by then. But it's simply not going to happen. You can't count on money coming in for a script you haven't sold (or finished!), or from a job you've interviewed for but haven't been hired for. And yet Christians do this all the time, assuming that they're really showing profound faith.

Assume you'll have to pay your way for six years instead of six months. Get the skills you need.

Joy in living in Los Angeles. I love L.A. (Me and Randy Newman.) Granted, it took a while. And it may take you a while. But if you never learn to like living in a place so spread out that people speak of their commutes in terms of minutes instead of miles... well, why would you spend your life being homesick?

I have an old college friend from England who likes to say, "L.A. is a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there." And I think he's right. It's a tough place to get used to for many, but one day you find yourself defending it, and you realize, "I wouldn't want to live anywhere else."

I can hear you thinking now: "But I'm a writer. A writer can write from anywhere! I don't have to live in L.A.!" Um, sorry, but yes, you do. Our agent likes to say, "You can have a screenwriting career outside of L.A., but you can't start a screenwriting career outside of L.A." You're going to have to make the move. And hopefully you'll love it.

A life outside the industry. Your life must be more than your career. Sure, you need technical knowledge of your craft and a working understanding of how the biz works. But you need so much more!

You need balance. You need church, friends, exercise, relaxation, inspirational input. You need a life! Make sure you keep what you've got, and don't let it be sucked up by the all-demanding industry.

....Hollywood, says iconoclast Hunter S. Thompson, "is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side."

Have I scared you off yet? If I have, maybe I've done you the greatest favor of your life. But if you've read this far, if you've weighed your motives and found them healthy, if you're talented, if you're ambitious, if you're dedicated and persevering, if you're wise, if you want to learn and grow and contribute and serve...

Then -- please -- come to Hollywood. And welcome!

SO YOU WANNA COME TO HOLLYWOOD.... Part Two

Following up on my previous blog, here I continue the diatribe on good and not-so-good reasons to pick up and move to Hollywood.... Again, this is for the upcoming Act One book: Greetings from the Church in Hollywood. As I mentioned before, I will probably actually start the article with *this* section on the *good* reasons to come to Hollywood, rather than the screed I posted yesterday.

Again, please please -- any and all comments!

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Do consider coming to Hollywood if that's who God made you to be.

In the musical A Chorus Line, Cassie sings, "God, I'm a dancer. A dancer dances."

If God truly put you on this earth to dance, it would be a sin if you didn't do it. A dancer dances. An actor acts. A writer writes. A designer designs.

For some of us, Hollywood is simply where we belong. Our talents, our desires, everything about us screams that this is home.

What that often means, of course, is that where you came from doesn't feel like "home." You don't fit in. People there don't understand what makes you tick, what you think important. You long for kindred spirits, for a place to belong.

Now, the irony here is that coming to Hollywood will not answer that feeling of wanting to belong. You'll come face to face with more rejection than you ever thought existed in the world -- guaranteed. But somehow, if you're meant to be here, none of that will matter. Just having the opportunity to be the person God meant you to be -- even if no one ever sees it -- can be enough.

Do consider coming to Hollywood because you love the end product.

I know a guy who grew up in love with sitcoms. He inhaled them. He memorized them. He can reel off cast lists, sing opening credit songs for virtually every sitcom created over a 15-year period -- even those that got canceled within a few weeks.

I know another guy who loves being behind a film camera. Even if he didn't get paid for it, he insists, even if he had to work as a waiter or an insurance agency to pay the bills, that's how he would spend every spare minute of time: shooting film. He loves it that much.

Maybe you love your craft that much. You'd spend your weekends drawing cartoons just for the fun of it. You'd act in the dumbest church skit. You'd rather sit at your computer writing than anything else. Who cares if you get paid? Who cares if you get noticed? Just getting to do it is fulfilling.

Or maybe you just love being part of a huge vision and helping it come to reality. You might never have the big vision yourself, you might not view yourself as particularly artistic. But you can type, you can organize, you can crunch numbers -- and if you're part of "putting on a show," somehow those mundane activities seem more special, more important.

Now, you can be part of an artistic vision other places than in Hollywood. Maybe your contribution to culture will be to write or act in a good church skit (a rarity in itself!). But loving the end product of Hollywood is not a bad reason to think about making the move -- and it may be a prerequisite!

Do consider coming to Hollywood because you love the people here.

I once met the receptionist for one of the nastiest, slimiest, most vulgar producers in Hollywood. A guy who treats everyone like trash. And this receptionist absolutely adored him. "I know what everyone says about him," she told me, "but he's really the sweetest guy." The receptionist, who was indeed a Christian, had a vision of who her boss could be. A vision of who God made him to be.

It's easy to see that this receptionist was right where God wanted her to be: Loving a guy whom everyone considers unlovable. But she's in a dead-end job, working for a guy who'll never give her a promotion (or even a raise, possibly)! How could that be what God wants? Could God actually want us to be in a position where others are more important than we are? Where our real job is to help the people around us be who God has called them to be?

Of course He could. And in Hollywood, we need Christians who feel called to love the people here.

Now, lots of Christians do find it hard to love some of the folks they'll find in Hollywood. They find it hard to love those creative types -- after all, they don't follow the rules, they shake things up, they even (gasp!) make their own rules!

Or they find it hard to love people whose lifestyles they disapprove of. "Those sinners!" they think to themselves. "If we hang out with them, people will think we're like them! And we can't have that!"

Or they simply can't love people who are, frankly, unloveable. People like the nasty, vulgar producer I mentioned above. Or people who only look out for themselves, who are manipulative, who are selfish, who are power-hungry.

But all of these folks need to be loved. And if Christians won't do it, who will? We need Christians in Hollywood, in fact, simply to show the people here what love looks like. The non-believers in town don't want to hear dogma, they don't want to hear how rotten you think their lifestyles are -- but they do want to be loved.

When non-believers looked at the very early church, they said, "Behold, how they love one another." We sing, "They'll know we are Christians by our love."

If you can look at Hollywood types and love them whole-heartedly and unashamedly, then please do come to Hollywood!

SO YOU WANNA COME TO HOLLYWOOD...

I don't know if Spencer at the Act One offices reads my blog, but if he does, he's heaving a sigh of relief right now. Because for months (maybe over a year's worth of months? I'm in denial) he's been bugging me: He's in charge of the Act One book: Greetings from the Church in Hollywood. And he's asked me for an article. And asked me. And asked me. And I've hemmed and hawed. And hemmed some more.

So here is a rough (ROUGH!) stream-of-consciousness pass at what I might want to say in my little chapter. Comment, please. Tell me what sucks. And because I'm just tossing this out there off the top of my head, I'm not putting in any of the Scripture I'll need to add -- if you have ideas, let me know.

I'm planning on addressing those folks who think they want to make the big move to Hollywood. I want to address their reasons for coming, then speak to what qualities they need if they're going to survive.

First off, I'll talk about the reasons for NOT coming to Hollywood. More in a future blog on the reasons FOR coming, and on what to bring with you if you come. Let me know if any of this even comes close to hitting the mark.

...And I do realize some of this may read a bit harsh. So I may start with the *good* reasons to come and flip these to the middle. Whatever. Anyway, here it is.

--------------

So it's come to this, has it? You wanna come to Hollywood.

Maybe all your life you felt deep down inside that the Oscars and the Emmys were really important, even though you could never justify why, even to yourself.

Maybe you had ideas -- really good ideas -- and no one in your small town high school understood what you were talking about and they all thought you were a tad weird.

Perhaps you watched something on TV and said, "I could do that." Or "I wish I could do that."

Maybe you watched something on TV or in the movies and got mad. Mad at the quality, mad at the message, mad at both.

Or maybe you thought God was calling you. The tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear. Or the burning bush, even, calling you to be a Moses, to go as a stranger into a strange land. But are you sure it's the voice of God? How do you know if you're supposed to go to Hollywood?

Well, I can't speak to whether that was God on the phone. But I can tell you why you should come to Hollywood -- or why you shouldn't. And I can tell you some things you'd better pack if you're going to make the trip.

Let's start with:

Five Reasons NOT to Come to Hollywood

Don't come to Hollywood because you want to be "Rich and Famous."

Christians, sadly, seem to want fame and fortune as much as everyone else. We practice our Oscar speeches during the commercials. We make our lists of who we'll thank. God of course, at the head of the list -- we want to be a "witness," after all. We envision our names in the credits, our faces on the screen. I know of a Christian who said he wanted to win an Oscar so he could "be humble before a billion people."

But the Hollywood Dream is a lie. The chances of "making it big" are less than the chances of winning the lottery big-time. (Literally. We know someone who ran the statistics.) When I was a little girl and I desperately wanted to be an (Oscar-winning) actress, my mom made me listen to Dionne Warwick singing "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?": In a week, maybe two / They'll make you a star / Weeks turn into years / How quick they pass / And all the stars / That never were / Are parking cars / And pumping gas. ...Change "pumping gas" for "waiting tables," and it's still true.

If you're seeking fame and fortune, you're seeking your own glory instead of God's. It's that simple. And you are bound for bitter disappointment.

Try this: Ask God not to give you "success" until you're ready to handle it in a way that glorifies Him. It's a scary prayer to pray. But until you're ready to pray it (and mean it), don't come to Hollywood.

Don't come to Hollywood because you want to be loved.

"You like me! You really, really like me!" We've all laughed at Sally Field's reaction to winning her second Oscar, but frankly, she showed a level of honesty and vulnerability that's not often seen in Hollywood.

Many people come to Hollywood because they want to prove something to their parents, to their brothers or sisters, to themselves. One award-winning actress once told me, "Well, of course the only reason anyone becomes an actor is because their parents didn't love them enough."

You already are loved. You are loved by the King of the Universe, who gave up his throne for you. If we saw that storyline in a movie, we'd know we were seeing true love. But we don't always accept it in our own lives.

No one will ever love you more than God Almighty already loves you. No audience, no fan club, no groupies will ever love you more. God will not love you more than He already does if you come to Hollywood and become a "success." And neither will anyone back home.

Don't come to Hollywood because you want to be a success for the Lord.

"I want to sell this script so I can glorify the Lord." "I want to be a big star because then I'd really have a public platform to praise the Lord." It sounds so spiritual. But it's only the Hollywood Dream wrapped up in the piety of religious platitudes.

Funny how we want to pick and choose how and where we'll serve God. We want the first part of Hebrews 11 [quote goes here], but we don't want to keep going down the chapter [quote goes here].

Maybe God will call you to Hollywood, call you to be a "success" according to the definition of the world. But that's His call to make. It better not be your motivation for coming.

Take another look at those "I want to..." statements. Have you ever heard anyone say something like that? Was it coming out of your mouth at the time? If so, better reconsider just why you want to come to Hollywood.

Don't come to Hollywood because you want power.

Hollywood is certainly a place that attracts people who are attracted to power. In his masterful book, In But Not Of: A Christian Guide to Ambition, Hugh Hewitt says there are only three cities that matter for someone with ambition: Washington, New York, and Los Angeles (i.e., Hollywood). And he's right.

But power is a dangerous thing. Very people are equipped to handle the kind of power wielded by those at the top of the Hollywood food chain. Maybe you will be one of them. I can pretty much guarantee, however, that you won't be ready to wield that kind of power the moment you set foot in town.

As Christians, we are to be servants, following our Lord, who came as a servant [quote]. Remember, God didn't call Joseph to be Pharoah, He called him to serve Pharoah.

Are you ready to be a servant? Are you ready to pay your dues? You say you'd rather skip all that and move straight to a position of power and influence? Then how will anyone even know you're a Christian?

Don't come to Hollywood because you want to pursue a moral agenda.

Yes, many people in Hollywood pursue lifestyles that could hardly be considered godly according to anyone's standards. Yes, the place is chock full of unrepentent, out-and-out sinners. But look around your home church. There's a place that's full of sinners, too.

If you want to come to Hollywood because you want to berate the people here about how wrong they are, take a quick stroll over to [verse] to see how Jesus felt about the Pharisees. [quote]

Sadly, this attitude of moral superiority is what many in Hollywood have come to expect from Christians. Let's surprise them. Come with an attitude of love, come with an attitude of service -- and let them try to figure that out!

"Wait a minute," you say. "I'm no Pharisee! But I'm truly grieved by the sins emanating from Hollywood." Here's an attitude test for you: Are you praying for the people in Hollywood with an attitude of love, wanting what God wants for them, praying for good for them? If you are, thank you. We all need those prayers!

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Okay, that's enough for now... I'll come back in a day or so with the *good* reasons to come to Hollywood.... And as I reread what I wrote above, I do indeed think I'll be leading off with the good reasons, so as not to scare everyone away! (And so poor Spencer doesn't have a heart attack...)

Thanks for reading and commenting! More to come!

!@#$%^&*

Get that bar of soap ready, 'cause we're gonna be needing it today.

This last week I read a couple of articles back to back that, unfortunately, didn't shock me. The first was a report on research done in New Zealand about the use of swearing in the workplace.

According to the findings of this research study, using the f-word within the confines of one's work team helps to "build and reinforce team morale." Within the context of a work team, the use of the f-word was not considered offensive, rude or insulting. (The same study also found that whining and complaining, in the right context, builds team rapport.)

The study concluded that the fact that the f-word is acceptable at work is "proof positive that our language is constantly evolving."

Well, duh. Language changes. This is definitionally *not* news. But I don't think it's language change we're seeing here.

The second article: A former writers' assistant on Friends has filed a lawsuit stemming from the hostile work environment in the writers' room on the sitcom. Basically, she claims the sexual, racial and religious denegration flying around the writers' room led to discrimination against her. (The court threw out the discrimination claims, but allowed her to proceed with the hostile-work-environment argument.)

The article discussing this lawsuit focused primarily on how radically all sitcom "boiler rooms," as they put it, would have to change, because all writers' rooms rely on foul language and offensive behavior to function. The article postulated that perhaps there are places where such behavior should simply be expected, and not censured in any way.

Okay, I'm all for freedom of speech. And I do think this particular writers' assistant almost certainly falls in the "If you can't stand the heat..." category (How did she get the job if she didn't know the world she was walking into?).

But...

Have we really sunk so low that such rudeness is *expected*? That we don't even blink? That no one even says, "Well, we know we shouldn't, but...."? I'm not shocked that foul language is common in a writers' room or (in the first story) in a soap factory. But shouldn't *someone* at least acknowledge that they're aware that their behavior is bad, even if they have no plans to change it?

It took me back to one of my favorite sci-fi books (I'm not recommending it here, mind you, as I know it is *far* from being a Christian book and it has much to offend in it): Friday by Robert A. Heinlein.

Friday, who is, well, let's just call her a supergenius for the time being, has been asked by her Boss to study several open-ended questions, one of which is "What are the marks of a sick culture?"

Friday comes up with many fascinating answers: Identification with a racial, religious or linguistic group rather than with the whole population. Loss of faith in the police and the courts. High taxation, inflation, too many people on the public payroll. Stupid laws. Violence, especially petty violence. But her Boss stops her:

"Friday, I think you have missed the most alarming symptom of all."

"I have? Are you going to tell me? Or am I going to have to grope around in the dark for it?"

"Mmm. This once I shall tell you. But go back and search for it. Examine it. Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms such as you have named... but a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot."

"Really?"

"Pfui. I should have forced you to dig it out for yourself; then you would know it. This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health but as proof of his/her strength. Look for it. Study it..."

Before someone tells me that "rude is the new polite," I think I'm going to stuff that bar of soap in my handbag and get ready to go out and wash out some mouths.

FROM ZERO TO IG NOBEL IN 5 SECONDS

About a week ago, the 2004 Ig Nobel prizes were handed out. The Ig Nobels are given to research that "cannot or should not be reproduced." Some of them are for good research. Many of them are for stupid research. They are often laugh-out-loud funny (and the bizarre nature of the prizes is continued at the award ceremony, where Nobel prize winners are recruited to hand out the Ig Nobels -- often to their own bemusement and consternation).

My favorite prize of the year went to an Illinois high school student who studied the scientific validity of the "5-second rule": If food falls to the floor but is on the floor for less than 5 seconds, it's safe to eat it.

(In our house, it's the 3-second rule. Either we're more sanitary or more impatient.)

Here's one of my favorite parts of Ms. Jillian Clarke's research: She apparently found the source of the 5-second rule. Way back when, Genghis Khan had it, but then it was the 12-hour rule. Apparently we've become waaaay more impatient than then.

Clarke found out that most people (70% women, 56% men) know about the rule and use it regularly. Women are more likely to eat food that's been on the floor. (Okay, I admit it. Especially if it's a donut).

But is the 5-second rule real? That is, is food safe if it's on the floor for 5 seconds or less?

Well, it depends.

If your floor is clean, yes. The food is safe to eat 5 seconds later.

If your floor is dirty, no. When Clarke planted E. coli bacteria on sterile tile, food was contaminated by the bacteria in less than 5 seconds.

I am actually very grateful to know the truth on this. "Ig Nobel" research or not, I've always wondered: Was I totally lying to my kids when I authoritatively counted off seconds? Now, I know the answer: Maybe.

I'd go on about these findings, but I feel a sudden need to dig out the Mop 'n' Glow. Happy eating!

INTO THE WILD BLACK YONDER

As I was driving home from dropping my kids off at school the other day, I was listening to the radio. And instead of political infighting, they had something exciting to report: SpaceShip 1 had successfully completed its third trip past the threshold of outer space, and had won the $10 million X-Prize.

And I got a biiiiig smile on my face.

You see, when I was a little kid, I decided there were three things I *really* wanted to do in my life.

One was to fly faster than the speed of sound. (We were near enough to a lot of test flights that I grew up hearing a lot of sonic booms. And then forgot about them, enough so that the last time the space shuttle landed in California, I had to figure out what the big boom was.)

One was to experience weightlessness.

And one was to be in the eye of a hurricane. (It never occurred to me that I'd have to experience the *rest* of the hurricane to check this one off.)

With the demise of the Concorde, the first one seemed out of reach. And while I have pilot friends who have offered to give me a few seconds of weightlessness, well, somehow that wasn't what I imagined as a kid.

But now, with the imminent advent of commercial space flight, well, at least the possibility is there. "To boldly go where no tourist has gone before..."

Yes, it'd be a trifle difficult to justify the $60,000, $70,000, $80,000 or whatever they'll charge for those flights. (Also a trifle difficult to come up with that much disposable income. But that's another story.) But when money is the only thing keeping you from something, well, it just seems a lot closer, that's all.

At least it means I can keep the first two things on my "to-do" list. (Now, if I could just persuade them to land the thing through the eye of a hurricane.... hmmmm.)

PRAYER AND SCHMOOZING

On Friday, I had the privilege of attending the "first annual" National Media Prayer Breakfast, held in Beverly Hills and sponsored by Mastermedia in alliance with the Hollywood Prayer Network, run by our long-time friend Karen Covell (and all of you should be clicking over to her site right now to sign up to pray for folks in Hollywood).

The breakfast was meticulously planned and executed. I was truly impressed to watch approximately 600 people be served a plated breakfast within about six minutes. The "show" went off like clockwork, was clearly genuinely moving to many people in the room. Very impressive. I was rather stunned to realize that half the people in the room were *not* in the media (they had us media folks stand) -- and some of those who claimed to be in the media... well, the guy next to me sells advertising to magazines I've never heard of. Okay.

These huge "we-are-Christians-hear-us-roar" events often make me cautious. There's a danger in being or appearing too self-promoting or smug. (And for my taste, there was a tad too much self-promotion on the part of Mastermedia -- just a tad.) There's a danger in possibly using "in-group" language that will mean something different to the outsiders in the room -- a danger the NMPB seemed to try to avoid, though of course individual speakers were spouting Christianese as if it was their first language.

So what's the good of an event like this? Well, the prayer. (Duh.) But here's what I think the real good is: Because I was in the room, I was able to warn a friend that a guy she spotted at a friend's table, who had shown up on her eharmony.com match list, was actually a fraud who had been kicked out of his home church for heresy (Guess what she logged on to the second she got back to work?!). And I met a guy visiting from the Artisan community in London, and was able to whisper the words "Act One: London" in his ear... and who knows what will come of that.

Now multiply that by 600 or so. Many, many good things will come about, I know, because of the hard work put in to making this breakfast a reality. So not only a classy production, but a place to plant seeds. That's pretty good for two hours in Beverly Hills.

The real test, though, is always: What does someone think who's walking in the door for the first time? Who *isn't* part of the community, who doesn't speak the language? And by that standards, I'd say the NMPB passed the test with flying colors... as witness this column by Brian Lowry in today's Variety:

Org throws up a prayer for media moguls: Mastermedia Intl's Hollywood breakfast reveals a little-seen side of Christianity

Hundreds assembled at the Beverly Hilton Hotel Friday to support media leaders in a manner that won't necessarily boost ratings or heighten box office.

They prayed for them.

It was the first National Media Prayer Breakfast, organized by Mastermedia Intl., a nonprofit organization I wrote about a few months before "The Passion of the Christ" became a phenomenon. (The goodie bag contained DVDs of the film for the six people in the room who hadn't seen it.)

Granted, the ballroom that hosts the Golden Globes might seem an incongruous venue for exalting the power of prayer, but the well-groomed crowd included Hollywood denizens who gave themselves away by saying "Good morning" and "Amen" with alarming frequency, in near-perfect unison.

The program, complete with a musical performance by John Tesh, closed with everyone being asked to pray for media executives and "cultural influencers." The idea is to engage said leaders on a more positive level than, say, the Rev. Donald Wildmon's group, praying that morality will inform choices that eventually touch millions across the globe.

Attendees received one of several alaphabetically arranged cards totaling more than 700n names. My list consisted of MTV Networks CEO Judy McGrath, MGM chief operating officer Chris McGurk, Ed McMahon and Elle McPherson. (Actually, I'm pretty sure that I have prayed for McPherson before, but not quite in this way.)

It's easy to joke about such matters, especially if your beliefs lean toward the secular. Yet the prayer breakrast -- which organizers plan to make an annual event -- showcased a side of the Christian community that receives scant exposure compared with their sexier (by media standards, anyway) hellfire-breathing brethren.

Moreover, if Mel Gibson's film underscored anything, it's the vast audience that doesn't find much aimed at them in the auteur section of their local videostore. This point was driven home seeing The Passion" at a North Hollywood theater filled with what charitably might be called non-traditional moviegoers, including a trio of middle-aged nuns.

Mastermedia CEO Larry Poland set the tone by stressing that the event came free of any political agenda, proceeding to apologize to Jews and gays who might feel wronged by the Jerry Falwell wing (my citation, not his) of evangelical Christianity.

Poland dismissed any sense of superiority "that somehow our sins are on a lesser order of magnitude than your sins.... The ground is leve here at the foot of the cross." He even offered media leaders a sort-of alibi by calling them "people of great influence," faced with equally great "pressures and temptations."

Admittedly, I winced listening to actress Rhonda Fleming, among the featured presenters, claim that prayer had cured a tumor. Maybe so (my guess is Penn & Teller would have their doubts), but such beliefs have allowed televangelists to fleece too many desperate-to-believe folks through the years, amassing wealth that has more to do with the teachings of P.T. Barnum than the Bible.

Still, the breakfast offered a reminder that in a media culture where squeaky wheels garner airtime, approaches to faith are often more varied than the common monolithic depiction. And given polls indicating a vast majority of Americans consider themselves pious, Hollywood ignores the portion it can reason with at its peril -- commercially, if not ecumenically.

This week's Mastermedia prayer calendar, by the way, features Warner Bros. TV Prexy Peter Roth, Fox Filmed Entertainment co-chair Tom Rothman, producer Scott Rudin, Kurt Fussell, Tim Russert, and mogul Haim Saban.

For those who don't buy into the prayer thing, perhaps you can take the day off from rooting for them to fail.