Some years ago, I decided to take New Year's Resolutions seriously (as I wrote in my very first post on this blog, which was itself the result of a New Year's Resolution). And about three years ago, I made a New Year's Resolution to make a list of books I wanted to read and actually read them.
This is one of the more successful New Year's Resolutions I have ever made. I currently have about 75 books on my "to-read" list, which seems to keep getting longer. But I was able to knock a few off the list this year, and thought I'd share them with you. (Really good books have links to their amazon.com site.)
So here in (what else) alphabetical order are my Books Of 2004 -- or at least, the first 12 of them. More to come tomorrow (or so)------
A IS FOR ALIBI, by Sue Grafton. A Christmas present from my husband, who every year tries to find Agatha Christies I haven't read, and every year ends up duplicating something already on the shelf (it's those alternate titles that throw him every time).... I have to say, as a longtime Agatha fan, I wasn't that impressed with Sue Grafton. I guessed the murderer (correctly) around pg 60, and didn't find her detective all that fascinating. But definitely readable when you're in a cozy hotel room with rain pouring all around. And since they're set in Santa Barbara, only 100 miles away, it's fun to visualize the places I already know. Still, if you're looking for a great murder mystery, I'd say go back to Agatha (or try the Charlie Chan mysteries -- the books, not the movies -- if you can find them, given their current aura of political incorrectness).
THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER, by Mark Twain. Obviously not the first time I've read it, but I reread it for the first time since (probably) high school for the Great Books reading group I rather infrequently attend. I remembered bits and pieces of it (whitewashing the fence, Tom and Huck coming to their own funeral). Really delightful, with dialogue that just sings. Not nearly in the league of its "sequel," Huckleberry Finn -- but isn't it good to know that a sequel can outdo the original sometimes?
AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH: PUBLIC DISCOURSE IN THE AGE OF SHOW BUSINESS, by Neil Postman. Not a new book, of course, but a valuable read always. I think everyone in Hollywood should read this every few years to remind ourselves (in a sort of "the medium is the message" way) of what our culture has lost (and is losing) in the rush toward 24/7 entertainment. With some years behind the publication of this book, we can see how very prophetic Postman was -- and it'd be fascinating to discuss what it all means for us here and now.
B IS FOR BURGLAR, by Sue Grafton. Okay, I got the first 3 for Christmas, and I did actually read the first two. So I can't put them down too much. I can't imagine buying number 4, though, unless stuck in an airport w/ nothing to read. (And I am compulsive enough to have to read them in alphabetical order.)
BOBOS IN PARADISE: THE NEW UPPER CLASS AND HOW THEY GOT THERE, by David Brooks. ***Reviewed on this blog 3.31.04***. Interesting, but probably not as incredibly enlightening as it could have been. "Bobos" stands for "Bourgeois Bohemians" -- the concept is that these two formerly estranged segments of society have merged. Read my review if you're interested.
THE CALL OF THE MALL: THE AUTHOR OF WHY WE BUY ON THE GEOGRAPHY OF SHOPPING, by Paco Underhill.***Reviewed on this blog 9.18.04***. I had to link this book to amazon because I find myself referring to it all the time. Every time I walk into a mall, I find myself thinking about how badly the bathrooms are hidden, or wondering why no one has taken Underhill's advice about angling window displays, or any of a zillion little thoughts he has. Really a fun read for anyone who has ever gone shopping at a mall and had a shred of frustration.
CARPE MANANA, by Leonard Sweet. ***Reviewed on this blog 9.30.04***. The book that made me the maddest this year. What a load of self-indulgent, faux spiritual, pretentious crap. Read my review if you want to see a real rant.
THE CRIMSON PETAL AND THE WHITE, by Michel Faber. I really debated on whether to add a link to this book, because I found it haunting. However, it's far from everybody: It's the story of a London prostitute in the 1800s, and as such, is full of necessarily graphic sex scenes. But the characters are incredibly gripping, and really stayed with me after I put the book down. And the story twisted in ways I could never have predicted. I loved it. But again, not for everybody, by a long shot.
THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHTTIME, by Mark Haddon. ***Reviewed on this blog 6.17.04.*** Easily the best fiction I've read this year. A must-read. And read it before the movie is made -- while a movie will be fascinating, no movie will capture this book fully. A brilliant novel.
THE DA VINCI CODE, by Dan Brown. ***Reviewed on this blog 8.29.04.*** What a waste of time. A shaggy dog tale masquerading as something important. Sacreligious, badly plotted and self-important. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, " indeed. Read something else instead.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, by Lauren Weisberger. ***Reviewed on this blog 7.20.04.*** Really not that well written, but I kept reading. A look inside the fashion industry that feels all too real. Probably if you're interested, you've already read this one.
DOWN AND DIRTY PICTURES: MIRAMAX, SUNDANCE, AND THE RISE OF INDEPENDENT FILM, by Peter Biskind. ***Reviewed on this blog 8.24.04.*** A rather chilling account of the rise (and fall?) of Miramax. Very discouraging for anyone who (like us) is waiting to receive "back-end" money from Miramax. The author clearly has an ax to grind here -- and he grinds it very well. A must-read for anyone working in this world.
................Okay, you've got about 1/3 of my 2004 reading there -- I hope you find something you want to read for yourselves. More to come tomorrow.......
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
I have a friend who doesn't look forward to Christmas at all, because one year when he was a boy, he and his family were evicted on Christmas Eve and had to spend Christmas Day in a homeless shelter.
My childhood Christmases weren't anywhere near that horrible, but they sure weren't something you'd want to paste into a photo album.
My dad, an atheist, hated Christmas with a passion. We always had the world's smallest (and cheapest) tree, with a total of 2 strings of lights and 3 boxes of glass balls, and he complained the entire time he decorated it. No decorations elsewhere in or on the house. He spent the entire season saying, "Don't buy me anything," then refused any presents he did get (other than cheese and fruitcake -- he is the one person I've ever known who truly loved fruitcake).
One year, after he had spend the whole year griping about how cold he was in the evenings (too cheap to turn on the heater), my mom knitted him the most spectacular afghan you've ever seen -- all Celtic patterns and luscious wool. My dad spent the year saying, "That better not be for me." And when, on Christmas, it turned out it was for him, even though it was beautiful, and exactly what he needed, he refused to accept it. My mom and I bought a roll of wrapping paper that said "Bah humbug" all over it to wrap the gifts we forced on him -- that roll lasted for years.
My mom, raised Jewish, had desperately wanted Christmas her whole life. As a child, she hung out stockings and set out cookies for Santa, but of course he never came. And all her many aunts mocked her for her longing faith in Santa. So she wanted to do Christmas when I was a child, but didn't have a clue what to do or how to do it. And of course got no encouragement from my dad.
So, since my dad wouldn't shop, I had to buy all the gifts (2 or 3 at the most) for my mom, knowing that her happiness depended on my making the right choices. As often as not, she'd end up spending Christmas day sobbing.
Christmas morning was pretty dismal around our house. There would be a total of about 10 gifts under the tree. I don't remember any specific presents that I got, pretty much ever. When I got to high school and college, I would escape as soon as I could and walk over to my friend Diane's house for the afternoon, where the living room would be a disaster zone of dogs playing in wads of wrapping paper, people sitting around eating non-stop, and presents stacked as far as the eye could see. It was wonderful.
So I grew up. I got married. I didn't have to spend Christmas at my folks' house anymore (whew!). Lee and I began slowly, informally, to amass our own Christmas traditions. And then we had kids. And the traditions turned into rituals.
So now, every Christmas, we have stacks and stacks of presents under the tree -- far more, I'm sure, than Diane's family ever had. It's a little embarrassing, in fact. But even in the lean years, we have gone for quantity. (One year, soon after we were married, Lee managed to get me 26 presents -- mostly vintage (read "thrift store") jewelry and paperback books -- but he labeled them "A" through "Z," scattered them randomly around the tree, and insisted I had to open them in order.) This year, our kids may be getting some of their gifts from the local Goodwill and 99 Cent Store -- but boy, do they have gifts to open!
More traditions that have sort of come to exist.... We light Advent candles during the month before Christmas. We cut our tree down at a cut-your-own-tree lot in Pasadena (and the kids and Lee play Marco Polo in and among the forest of trees while Mom pays for the whole thing). We always do a shopping pilgrimage to South Coast Plaza, some 50 miles south of us (or, as it has apparently just been (accurately) renamed, "South Coast Shopping Resort" -- and all you non-Southern Californians, that tells you just what you need to know!), as we pick up Grandma to join us for a few days.
On Christmas Eve Day, we bake a birthday cake for Jesus. Usually, Jesus has favored chocolate cake with chocolate icing and sprinkles, but this year He seems to be going for lemon. On Christmas Eve, we go to church, with Sabrina dressed to the hilt, and the rest of us pretty much hoping everyone is just looking at Sabrina. For the last couple of years, we have gone to some good friends' for Christmas Eve potluck dinner -- and they'd better watch out, because, as we've learned, 2 years in a row makes it a ritual in our house! Ham and goodies and Christmas carols around the piano.
Back at home, we each open one present before going to bed. No cookies for Santa (if you've read earlier posts here, you'll know why), but we light Jesus' birthday candles and sing "Happy Birthday" and eat some cake.
Christmas morning, everyone gets exactly what they want for breakfast. Our kids have not fully grasped what this can mean yet -- though this year Sabrina is moving in that direction, having placed an order for chocolate-chip-and-M&M-pancakes topped with ice cream, and chocolate milk. Fine. She gets it. It's Christmas. We don't open presents till breakfast has been made and eaten, which I realize is probably pure torture for the kids.
And then we get to the presents -- this year, thanks to the kindness of our friends, there will easily be 100 gifts under the tree for the 5 of us (lots of used paperbacks and hair clips and stickers and the like this year, but hey). And always, a pair of Christmas ornaments for each of the kids, with their names and the year. The way I see it, God is lavish with us. As we tell our kids every year, that's the reason we are so lavish with each other.
We don't do Christmas dinner -- Too much work, especially for so few of us. Sometimes we go out to a Jewish deli (virtually the only place open on Christmas), but this year, that will probably be too much for my mom (who is still prone to breaking out sobbing on Christmas Day). Maybe we'll order in. Or maybe we'll just sit and eat all the goodies currently waiting for us under the tree.
I sort of envy my friends who pull out the heirloom ornaments handed down through generations. Who fly home to formal dinners for 38. Who have so many siblings and cousins that they have to draw names out of a hat to figure out what presents to buy. Who have real families and real memories of Christmases gone by.
But, to paraphrase Mr. Rumsfeld, you don't go to Christmas with the traditions you'd like, you go to Christmas with the traditions you have. And we have done our best to invent traditions that actually seem to work for our kids, even though they have no years-of-being-handed-down-across-generations behind them.
So off we go to South Coast Plaza today, to begin the last leg of traditions.... I hope your Christmas will be beautiful this year, merry and bright and full of ritual. Merry Christmas!
My childhood Christmases weren't anywhere near that horrible, but they sure weren't something you'd want to paste into a photo album.
My dad, an atheist, hated Christmas with a passion. We always had the world's smallest (and cheapest) tree, with a total of 2 strings of lights and 3 boxes of glass balls, and he complained the entire time he decorated it. No decorations elsewhere in or on the house. He spent the entire season saying, "Don't buy me anything," then refused any presents he did get (other than cheese and fruitcake -- he is the one person I've ever known who truly loved fruitcake).
One year, after he had spend the whole year griping about how cold he was in the evenings (too cheap to turn on the heater), my mom knitted him the most spectacular afghan you've ever seen -- all Celtic patterns and luscious wool. My dad spent the year saying, "That better not be for me." And when, on Christmas, it turned out it was for him, even though it was beautiful, and exactly what he needed, he refused to accept it. My mom and I bought a roll of wrapping paper that said "Bah humbug" all over it to wrap the gifts we forced on him -- that roll lasted for years.
My mom, raised Jewish, had desperately wanted Christmas her whole life. As a child, she hung out stockings and set out cookies for Santa, but of course he never came. And all her many aunts mocked her for her longing faith in Santa. So she wanted to do Christmas when I was a child, but didn't have a clue what to do or how to do it. And of course got no encouragement from my dad.
So, since my dad wouldn't shop, I had to buy all the gifts (2 or 3 at the most) for my mom, knowing that her happiness depended on my making the right choices. As often as not, she'd end up spending Christmas day sobbing.
Christmas morning was pretty dismal around our house. There would be a total of about 10 gifts under the tree. I don't remember any specific presents that I got, pretty much ever. When I got to high school and college, I would escape as soon as I could and walk over to my friend Diane's house for the afternoon, where the living room would be a disaster zone of dogs playing in wads of wrapping paper, people sitting around eating non-stop, and presents stacked as far as the eye could see. It was wonderful.
So I grew up. I got married. I didn't have to spend Christmas at my folks' house anymore (whew!). Lee and I began slowly, informally, to amass our own Christmas traditions. And then we had kids. And the traditions turned into rituals.
So now, every Christmas, we have stacks and stacks of presents under the tree -- far more, I'm sure, than Diane's family ever had. It's a little embarrassing, in fact. But even in the lean years, we have gone for quantity. (One year, soon after we were married, Lee managed to get me 26 presents -- mostly vintage (read "thrift store") jewelry and paperback books -- but he labeled them "A" through "Z," scattered them randomly around the tree, and insisted I had to open them in order.) This year, our kids may be getting some of their gifts from the local Goodwill and 99 Cent Store -- but boy, do they have gifts to open!
More traditions that have sort of come to exist.... We light Advent candles during the month before Christmas. We cut our tree down at a cut-your-own-tree lot in Pasadena (and the kids and Lee play Marco Polo in and among the forest of trees while Mom pays for the whole thing). We always do a shopping pilgrimage to South Coast Plaza, some 50 miles south of us (or, as it has apparently just been (accurately) renamed, "South Coast Shopping Resort" -- and all you non-Southern Californians, that tells you just what you need to know!), as we pick up Grandma to join us for a few days.
On Christmas Eve Day, we bake a birthday cake for Jesus. Usually, Jesus has favored chocolate cake with chocolate icing and sprinkles, but this year He seems to be going for lemon. On Christmas Eve, we go to church, with Sabrina dressed to the hilt, and the rest of us pretty much hoping everyone is just looking at Sabrina. For the last couple of years, we have gone to some good friends' for Christmas Eve potluck dinner -- and they'd better watch out, because, as we've learned, 2 years in a row makes it a ritual in our house! Ham and goodies and Christmas carols around the piano.
Back at home, we each open one present before going to bed. No cookies for Santa (if you've read earlier posts here, you'll know why), but we light Jesus' birthday candles and sing "Happy Birthday" and eat some cake.
Christmas morning, everyone gets exactly what they want for breakfast. Our kids have not fully grasped what this can mean yet -- though this year Sabrina is moving in that direction, having placed an order for chocolate-chip-and-M&M-pancakes topped with ice cream, and chocolate milk. Fine. She gets it. It's Christmas. We don't open presents till breakfast has been made and eaten, which I realize is probably pure torture for the kids.
And then we get to the presents -- this year, thanks to the kindness of our friends, there will easily be 100 gifts under the tree for the 5 of us (lots of used paperbacks and hair clips and stickers and the like this year, but hey). And always, a pair of Christmas ornaments for each of the kids, with their names and the year. The way I see it, God is lavish with us. As we tell our kids every year, that's the reason we are so lavish with each other.
We don't do Christmas dinner -- Too much work, especially for so few of us. Sometimes we go out to a Jewish deli (virtually the only place open on Christmas), but this year, that will probably be too much for my mom (who is still prone to breaking out sobbing on Christmas Day). Maybe we'll order in. Or maybe we'll just sit and eat all the goodies currently waiting for us under the tree.
I sort of envy my friends who pull out the heirloom ornaments handed down through generations. Who fly home to formal dinners for 38. Who have so many siblings and cousins that they have to draw names out of a hat to figure out what presents to buy. Who have real families and real memories of Christmases gone by.
But, to paraphrase Mr. Rumsfeld, you don't go to Christmas with the traditions you'd like, you go to Christmas with the traditions you have. And we have done our best to invent traditions that actually seem to work for our kids, even though they have no years-of-being-handed-down-across-generations behind them.
So off we go to South Coast Plaza today, to begin the last leg of traditions.... I hope your Christmas will be beautiful this year, merry and bright and full of ritual. Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
THE GIFT FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EVERYTHING AND STILL WANTS MORE
I saw in the newspaper yesterday the ultimate stupid gift.
It is a flyswatter. A rather lovely flyswatter, actually. And it should be, at $50. (Yes. That is not a typo. $50. For a flyswatter.)
The special thing about this flyswatter? It guarantees to only stun the fly, rather than killing it.
PETA would approve. I do not.
It is a flyswatter. A rather lovely flyswatter, actually. And it should be, at $50. (Yes. That is not a typo. $50. For a flyswatter.)
The special thing about this flyswatter? It guarantees to only stun the fly, rather than killing it.
PETA would approve. I do not.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
MOVIE THOUGHTS: WHITE CHRISTMAS
Okay, I know White Christmas hasn't just hit the multiplexes, so it may not seem like the most obvious movie to comment on. But one of our family traditions is watching it every year, and last night was the night (with both kids absolutely riveted, by the way, to a 50 year old movie). And I had a couple of thoughts as I watched.
Thought #1: I'm assuming you've seen the movie, which is charmingly built around a fairly flimsy plot: Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, as celebrity performers, team up to put on a show to save their former general's Vermont inn, and as a result end up with Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen.
And the whole plot hinges on a misunderstanding: Bing Crosby heads to New York to appear on the "Ed Harrison" (=Ed Sullivan) show to put out a plea to their former WWII division, asking the guys who live in New England to head to Vermont, come to the show, and do something nice for the general. But Rosemary Clooney thinks he's going to exploit the situation, make the general look "pathetic," and make a mint of money in the process by boosting publicity for the show. And she is shocked. She blows off Bing Crosby completely, won't even talk to him, leaves Vermont so as to not be around him.
And what turns the relationship around? She sees the Ed Harrison show and realizes that Bing Crosby in fact is not exploiting the general -- and she heads straight back to Vermont to apologize and the two fall back in love and it starts to snow and everyone is happy.
And as I watched this, I realized how far we have come. Nowadays, who would think twice about exploiting someone's situation? It's the way the world works now. Being a victim is something to celebrate, something to use, a way to work the system. Think about it. As weepy and lovely as Extreme Makeover: Home can be, it's exactly the same situation as in White Christmas: Someone learns their friend has hit hard times and uses the reach of TV to let their situation be known nationwide so as to bring about a solution.
In 1954, the presupposition was clearly that doing such a thing was dishonorable, shameful. (Note that no one has to justify or explain Rosemary Clooney's behavior.) Now it's cool.
How did we make such a radical paradigm shift in expectation and attitude in 50 years? And is it a good shift? Or a bad one?
Thought #2: White Christmas belongs to a venerable tradition of Hollywood "Let's Put On A Show!" movies. (Think Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.) A problem exists, and it's solved by people putting on a show, and everything ends happily.
Now, when we watch these movies, we pretty much know where to suspend our disbelief. We all know that, in real life, putting on a show may be fun, but it doesn't significantly change many people's lives. It's a fun thing to believe for two hours, but in real life, well, problems rarely get solved that way.
And after I watched White Christmas last night -- where, yes, the general has a lovely evening, but really, that show is not going to save his inn in real life -- I thought about the Christians out there who are so fired up to make a movie. If we just make this one movie, lives will be changed! And they write big checks, and they throw everything into one project, and it's made outside the system, made for less money than is really needed to do it right, and it's finished, and it doesn't get distribution because it's not that good, and a few people see it, but mostly it goes straight to video and slips out of the public's awareness (if it was ever there in the first place) without a trace....
And I realized: These Christians have bought into Hollywood's "Let's Put On A Show" concept a little too sincerely. They've, in a sense, bought into a Hollywood myth without even realizing it, often while thinking they're bucking the Hollywood system.
One movie -- one "show" -- is not going to solve the world's problems. Not even The Passion of the Christ (which, for Hollywood's purposes, has indeed sunk beneath the surface without a trace). One movie, made outside the system, will not even solve Hollywood's problems. And the thought that it will is a concept that was promulgated (possibly even invented) by Hollywood itself.
So go rent a copy of White Christmas, put all this out of your mind, and just enjoy it for the lovely bit of fluff that it is. And may your days be merry and bright, indeed.
Thought #1: I'm assuming you've seen the movie, which is charmingly built around a fairly flimsy plot: Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, as celebrity performers, team up to put on a show to save their former general's Vermont inn, and as a result end up with Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen.
And the whole plot hinges on a misunderstanding: Bing Crosby heads to New York to appear on the "Ed Harrison" (=Ed Sullivan) show to put out a plea to their former WWII division, asking the guys who live in New England to head to Vermont, come to the show, and do something nice for the general. But Rosemary Clooney thinks he's going to exploit the situation, make the general look "pathetic," and make a mint of money in the process by boosting publicity for the show. And she is shocked. She blows off Bing Crosby completely, won't even talk to him, leaves Vermont so as to not be around him.
And what turns the relationship around? She sees the Ed Harrison show and realizes that Bing Crosby in fact is not exploiting the general -- and she heads straight back to Vermont to apologize and the two fall back in love and it starts to snow and everyone is happy.
And as I watched this, I realized how far we have come. Nowadays, who would think twice about exploiting someone's situation? It's the way the world works now. Being a victim is something to celebrate, something to use, a way to work the system. Think about it. As weepy and lovely as Extreme Makeover: Home can be, it's exactly the same situation as in White Christmas: Someone learns their friend has hit hard times and uses the reach of TV to let their situation be known nationwide so as to bring about a solution.
In 1954, the presupposition was clearly that doing such a thing was dishonorable, shameful. (Note that no one has to justify or explain Rosemary Clooney's behavior.) Now it's cool.
How did we make such a radical paradigm shift in expectation and attitude in 50 years? And is it a good shift? Or a bad one?
Thought #2: White Christmas belongs to a venerable tradition of Hollywood "Let's Put On A Show!" movies. (Think Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.) A problem exists, and it's solved by people putting on a show, and everything ends happily.
Now, when we watch these movies, we pretty much know where to suspend our disbelief. We all know that, in real life, putting on a show may be fun, but it doesn't significantly change many people's lives. It's a fun thing to believe for two hours, but in real life, well, problems rarely get solved that way.
And after I watched White Christmas last night -- where, yes, the general has a lovely evening, but really, that show is not going to save his inn in real life -- I thought about the Christians out there who are so fired up to make a movie. If we just make this one movie, lives will be changed! And they write big checks, and they throw everything into one project, and it's made outside the system, made for less money than is really needed to do it right, and it's finished, and it doesn't get distribution because it's not that good, and a few people see it, but mostly it goes straight to video and slips out of the public's awareness (if it was ever there in the first place) without a trace....
And I realized: These Christians have bought into Hollywood's "Let's Put On A Show" concept a little too sincerely. They've, in a sense, bought into a Hollywood myth without even realizing it, often while thinking they're bucking the Hollywood system.
One movie -- one "show" -- is not going to solve the world's problems. Not even The Passion of the Christ (which, for Hollywood's purposes, has indeed sunk beneath the surface without a trace). One movie, made outside the system, will not even solve Hollywood's problems. And the thought that it will is a concept that was promulgated (possibly even invented) by Hollywood itself.
So go rent a copy of White Christmas, put all this out of your mind, and just enjoy it for the lovely bit of fluff that it is. And may your days be merry and bright, indeed.
Monday, December 20, 2004
MISSING COMMENTS
It has come to my attention that some of y'all may have been posting comments to this blog (I love comments!), but somehow they are not appearing when I boot up the blog. Hmmm. I'm tempted to blame AOL for this, just because it's so easy. But I really don't know how to fix it. Any ideas, anyone?
And just to test this -- over the next couple of weeks, I will reply to comments that I can read. If you write a comment and I don't reply, would you mind e-mailing me and letting me know you commented? Thankx.
I'll be back in a day (or less? who knows?) with blogging about Christmas traditions and about hospitality, and also my list of the books of 2004. Maybe more stuff as the spirit moves. Don't go away! We'll talk soon.
And just to test this -- over the next couple of weeks, I will reply to comments that I can read. If you write a comment and I don't reply, would you mind e-mailing me and letting me know you commented? Thankx.
I'll be back in a day (or less? who knows?) with blogging about Christmas traditions and about hospitality, and also my list of the books of 2004. Maybe more stuff as the spirit moves. Don't go away! We'll talk soon.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
NO SANTA FOR ME
I may be the meanest mom ever.
Why? Because I told my kids from the get-go that Santa Claus wasn't real.
I'm probably working out my own issues here, frankly. When I was a kid, I of course believed in Santa. And then, as one does, I learned that he wasn't real. In essence, I learned that my parents had been lying to me.
But that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that I could see that it mattered incredibly to my mom (who is Jewish and has incredibly complicated issues involving Christmas) that I continued to believe in Santa. So for a couple of years, I pretended to believe. I lied my ears off to make my mom happy.
And what did I learn from this experience? I learned that it is remarkably easy to lie to my parents and make them believe me -- knowledge that stood me in very good stead through my junior high and high school years, I have to say.
So when it came time to start the whole Santa thing with my own kids, well, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to them about something that -- at a kid level -- is so incredibly important. I couldn't do anything to put them in the position to say, "You lied about the Santa part of Christmas -- were you lying about the Jesus part of Christmas as well?" And I couldn't do anything to make them feel they had to lie to me.
So from the beginning, we've told our kids that Santa is the fun, pretend part of Christmas, and Jesus is the real part of Christmas. For Cory, it never seemed to matter all that much. But for Sabrina -- oh, it matters. And do I feel guilty.
Because Sabrina wants to believe in Santa so badly. She wants him to fly around the world in a night, stuff himself down chimneys, the whole bit. She wants Rudolph, the North Pole, all of it. She's even announced, rather defiantly, that she believes in Santa no matter what I say. (Though she is having severe issues about the existence of the Tooth Fairy.)
She's just at the age where she should be figuring out the truth. And she already knows it. But she just doesn't want it to be true.
Maybe I'll give in this year. Maybe I'll agree to stand in the looooong line at the mall --- for the first time ever --- and let her sit on Santa's lap and list off her Polly Pocket dolls and her nail polish and her Barbie videos, and explain how she's been a good girl. I know she'll love it (as Cory looks scornfully on from his 10-year-old wisdom).
At least I'll know I never lied to her.
Why? Because I told my kids from the get-go that Santa Claus wasn't real.
I'm probably working out my own issues here, frankly. When I was a kid, I of course believed in Santa. And then, as one does, I learned that he wasn't real. In essence, I learned that my parents had been lying to me.
But that wasn't really the problem. The problem was that I could see that it mattered incredibly to my mom (who is Jewish and has incredibly complicated issues involving Christmas) that I continued to believe in Santa. So for a couple of years, I pretended to believe. I lied my ears off to make my mom happy.
And what did I learn from this experience? I learned that it is remarkably easy to lie to my parents and make them believe me -- knowledge that stood me in very good stead through my junior high and high school years, I have to say.
So when it came time to start the whole Santa thing with my own kids, well, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to them about something that -- at a kid level -- is so incredibly important. I couldn't do anything to put them in the position to say, "You lied about the Santa part of Christmas -- were you lying about the Jesus part of Christmas as well?" And I couldn't do anything to make them feel they had to lie to me.
So from the beginning, we've told our kids that Santa is the fun, pretend part of Christmas, and Jesus is the real part of Christmas. For Cory, it never seemed to matter all that much. But for Sabrina -- oh, it matters. And do I feel guilty.
Because Sabrina wants to believe in Santa so badly. She wants him to fly around the world in a night, stuff himself down chimneys, the whole bit. She wants Rudolph, the North Pole, all of it. She's even announced, rather defiantly, that she believes in Santa no matter what I say. (Though she is having severe issues about the existence of the Tooth Fairy.)
She's just at the age where she should be figuring out the truth. And she already knows it. But she just doesn't want it to be true.
Maybe I'll give in this year. Maybe I'll agree to stand in the looooong line at the mall --- for the first time ever --- and let her sit on Santa's lap and list off her Polly Pocket dolls and her nail polish and her Barbie videos, and explain how she's been a good girl. I know she'll love it (as Cory looks scornfully on from his 10-year-old wisdom).
At least I'll know I never lied to her.
Friday, December 10, 2004
THE TOP ISSUES, D.C. VS. HOLLYWOOD
We had a wonderful couple of days this week dialoguing with folks from a reading group of senior aides on Capitol Hill who have been meeting for almost 10 years to discuss how to engage the culture for the kingdom of Christ. This was the continuation of a dialogue that Act One began almost two years ago when we visited Washington for a whole string of meetings with like-minded people.
The D.C. folks have met with many Hollywood types back east, but this was their first visit west. It was fascinating to see these two disparate groups meet and find common ground.
As part of one of our discussions, the D.C. folks wanted to present their take on the top five issues facing our culture. We -- the Hollywood contingent -- responded by compiling very roughly our own ideas about the top issues facing the culture. I thought I'd share the two lists with you -- See what you can add or amplify!
(And keep in mind -- the D.C. guys have been honing their list for years, where ours was ad hoc'd together in a matter of a couple of days. And where we have, for instance, 3a and 3b, it's because those items tied in terms of importance for our group.)
Here's the Hollywood list:
1) Moral relativism
The devaluation of truth. The loss of the concepts of right and wrong. The loss of the understanding of evil. The increasing secularization of American history.
2) Extremism and division
The polarity between the political parties. The pervading sense of "us vs. them." The view that compromise is failure. The culture gap between the "red" and "blue" states. The increasing disparity between rich and poor.
3a) Lack of role models
Children's adulation of rap artists/movie stars/athletes. The loss of trust and esteem for political, civic and religious leaders. The cultivation of greed and envy as positive values.
3b) The sanctity of life
Abortion. Stem cell research. Cloning. Euthanasia/assisted suicide.
3c) The disintegration of the family
Loss of commonalities to hold our families and communities together. The issues of gay marriage and gay rights. Divorce.
4a) The loss of civility and decency
The failure to see others as created in the image of God and therefore worthy of respect. Hate crimes. Rampant bad manners. Christians who behave as badly as non-believers.
4b) Environmental issues
Environmental and economic sustainability. Our responsibility for God's world. The Christian response (or lack thereof) to God's charge to "take care of the Garden."
4c) Overdependence on political solutions
Christian dependence on government to solve problems that are spiritually-based. Inappropriate-placed trust in our political leaders to give us inner peace and security.
---------
Okay, here's the Washington folks' list of issues. It's interesting to see where we agree (for instance, we marveled that we both chose the same number one issue -- I think they thought we were going to say 'runaway production'!)... and where we differ.
1) Worldview
The role of entertainment in shaping the worldview of our culture. The need to rediscover transcendent truth as the basis of reason, morality and meaning.
2) The Dignity of human life
Abortion. Cloning. Euthanasia. Human rights violations. Intelligent design.
3) Marriage and family
The reduction of marriage to a legal contract. Children's health and education. Community building. Protecting the marriage covenant.
4) Sexuality and gender
Restoring sex to its proper place within the context of marriage. Homosexuality. Sex trafficking. Pornography. Obscenity.
5) Compassion and justice
AIDS, especially in Africa. Restoring dignity to the poor. Racial division. Religious liberties. Human trafficking and slavery.
Okay, there's the two lists.... so weigh in with your own thoughts......
The D.C. folks have met with many Hollywood types back east, but this was their first visit west. It was fascinating to see these two disparate groups meet and find common ground.
As part of one of our discussions, the D.C. folks wanted to present their take on the top five issues facing our culture. We -- the Hollywood contingent -- responded by compiling very roughly our own ideas about the top issues facing the culture. I thought I'd share the two lists with you -- See what you can add or amplify!
(And keep in mind -- the D.C. guys have been honing their list for years, where ours was ad hoc'd together in a matter of a couple of days. And where we have, for instance, 3a and 3b, it's because those items tied in terms of importance for our group.)
Here's the Hollywood list:
1) Moral relativism
The devaluation of truth. The loss of the concepts of right and wrong. The loss of the understanding of evil. The increasing secularization of American history.
2) Extremism and division
The polarity between the political parties. The pervading sense of "us vs. them." The view that compromise is failure. The culture gap between the "red" and "blue" states. The increasing disparity between rich and poor.
3a) Lack of role models
Children's adulation of rap artists/movie stars/athletes. The loss of trust and esteem for political, civic and religious leaders. The cultivation of greed and envy as positive values.
3b) The sanctity of life
Abortion. Stem cell research. Cloning. Euthanasia/assisted suicide.
3c) The disintegration of the family
Loss of commonalities to hold our families and communities together. The issues of gay marriage and gay rights. Divorce.
4a) The loss of civility and decency
The failure to see others as created in the image of God and therefore worthy of respect. Hate crimes. Rampant bad manners. Christians who behave as badly as non-believers.
4b) Environmental issues
Environmental and economic sustainability. Our responsibility for God's world. The Christian response (or lack thereof) to God's charge to "take care of the Garden."
4c) Overdependence on political solutions
Christian dependence on government to solve problems that are spiritually-based. Inappropriate-placed trust in our political leaders to give us inner peace and security.
---------
Okay, here's the Washington folks' list of issues. It's interesting to see where we agree (for instance, we marveled that we both chose the same number one issue -- I think they thought we were going to say 'runaway production'!)... and where we differ.
1) Worldview
The role of entertainment in shaping the worldview of our culture. The need to rediscover transcendent truth as the basis of reason, morality and meaning.
2) The Dignity of human life
Abortion. Cloning. Euthanasia. Human rights violations. Intelligent design.
3) Marriage and family
The reduction of marriage to a legal contract. Children's health and education. Community building. Protecting the marriage covenant.
4) Sexuality and gender
Restoring sex to its proper place within the context of marriage. Homosexuality. Sex trafficking. Pornography. Obscenity.
5) Compassion and justice
AIDS, especially in Africa. Restoring dignity to the poor. Racial division. Religious liberties. Human trafficking and slavery.
Okay, there's the two lists.... so weigh in with your own thoughts......
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
PRAY FOR MICHELE
Although we haven't seen any substantive answers to the hundreds of prayers that have ascended on our behalf, I nevertheless have no choice but to believe that prayer changes things. Therefore, please add to your prayer lists Michele Doman, mother of Regina, a faithful reader of this blog.
Here's an abridged version of Regina's note:
Michele, the mother of the ten Doman children, was awakened by a heart attack in the early hours of the morning Dec. 7....
Last we heard, the doctors were preparing her for open heart surgery.
Michele was in good health and... the heart attack "came out of a clear blue sky."
Many of the Doman children are en route to join their parents at the hospital.... Apparently the doctors found a blockage in the heart that will have to be repaired through surgery. John [Michele's husband] is asking everyone "to pray as though it is serious."
Here's an abridged version of Regina's note:
Michele, the mother of the ten Doman children, was awakened by a heart attack in the early hours of the morning Dec. 7....
Last we heard, the doctors were preparing her for open heart surgery.
Michele was in good health and... the heart attack "came out of a clear blue sky."
Many of the Doman children are en route to join their parents at the hospital.... Apparently the doctors found a blockage in the heart that will have to be repaired through surgery. John [Michele's husband] is asking everyone "to pray as though it is serious."
Monday, December 06, 2004
NEW QUOTE
I have a sneaking feeling that I forgot to change the "Quote of the month" in November.... If so, my bad. I've changed it now.
A rocky week ahead, but I promise to post some interesting stuff in a day or so. We're going to be having a discussion between Christians from Hollywood and Christians from D.C. about what are the top social/culture issues facing our culture today, and the differences (and similiarities) should be interesting.
Back to you soon.
A rocky week ahead, but I promise to post some interesting stuff in a day or so. We're going to be having a discussion between Christians from Hollywood and Christians from D.C. about what are the top social/culture issues facing our culture today, and the differences (and similiarities) should be interesting.
Back to you soon.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
FINDING NEVERLAND
I see that the National Board of Review, usually the first critics' body to give out their awards, has given Finding Neverland their highest award this year. A good choice, indeed.
I saw Neverland back in October, and neglected to blog about it at the time (I guess my world was too busy collapsing). But I should have, to tell you all to go see this truly lovely movie.
Neverland was not at all what I expected, I have to say. Knowing only that it was the story of how James Barrie wrote Peter Pan, I expected it to be quite dark, with all sorts of psycho-sexual undertones. Boy, was I wrong.
The movie is actually lovely, sweet, even pure in a way. And absolutely magical -- the moment where Barrie and his wife go into their separate bedrooms early in the movie is one of freshest, most beautifully visual moments I can remember in a recent movie.
It's also a three-hankie tearjerker -- the only fact that would keep me from taking my kids. So be warned -- take some kleenex.... This is also the movie that made me an unabashed Johnny Depp fan -- okay, I believe what people say now: He can do anything. I'm sure he'll get nominated for an Oscar. I hope he wins.
I'm really happy for the recognition this small movie is getting as well because one of the executive producers, Michelle Sy, is a friend of ours -- we worked with her on a couple of projects when she was at Miramax. (And those of you who watched the first season of Project Greenlight will recognize her from that.)
So everyone, race out and see this lyrical movie. Truly a treat and a delight.
I saw Neverland back in October, and neglected to blog about it at the time (I guess my world was too busy collapsing). But I should have, to tell you all to go see this truly lovely movie.
Neverland was not at all what I expected, I have to say. Knowing only that it was the story of how James Barrie wrote Peter Pan, I expected it to be quite dark, with all sorts of psycho-sexual undertones. Boy, was I wrong.
The movie is actually lovely, sweet, even pure in a way. And absolutely magical -- the moment where Barrie and his wife go into their separate bedrooms early in the movie is one of freshest, most beautifully visual moments I can remember in a recent movie.
It's also a three-hankie tearjerker -- the only fact that would keep me from taking my kids. So be warned -- take some kleenex.... This is also the movie that made me an unabashed Johnny Depp fan -- okay, I believe what people say now: He can do anything. I'm sure he'll get nominated for an Oscar. I hope he wins.
I'm really happy for the recognition this small movie is getting as well because one of the executive producers, Michelle Sy, is a friend of ours -- we worked with her on a couple of projects when she was at Miramax. (And those of you who watched the first season of Project Greenlight will recognize her from that.)
So everyone, race out and see this lyrical movie. Truly a treat and a delight.
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