TV THOUGHTS: THE OSCARS

Perhaps it's a measure of how boring the Oscars were this year that it didn't even occur to me to blog about it until now.

With the lowest Oscar ratings in history, they were flat indeed. Even the presence of Miley Cyrus (who read from her teleprompter with more aplomb than many of the older, presumably more professional actors) didn't generate much excitement in our house.

Why the bad ratings? I'm not the first to opine, but here are my thoughts:

1) Unpopular movies.

No one saw the vast majority of the Best Picture nominees this year. And neither the promo ads nor the awards ceremony itself bothered to feature the award-winners that people actually did see -- Ratatouille, Juno, The Bourne Ultimatum. ("What"? I hear you thinking. "Bourne Ultimatum won some Oscars?" See? Exactly my point.)

2) Dark movies.

Not only were most of the Best Picture nominees unseen, they were dark as all get-out. Jon Stewart's best line of the evening was his comment about all the psychopathic serial killer movies nominated this year -- "Thank God for teenage pregnancy!"

Funny, but he had a point. Most of these movies are something you sit through once and admire, not something you love and go back to again and again (a la Titanic, say). I've been reading on private writers' bulletin boards various pleas to bring back uplifting movies again -- pleas from people who loved this year's movies, who like it dark... but just feel oversatiated.

The studios, of course, are making those "happy ending" movies. But they're making them as pulp, fun, popcorn movies (Alvin and the Chipmunks, anyone?), not as potential Oscar nominees.

3) Jon Stewart.


He was much better this year than the last time he hosted. Much less deer-in-the-headlights, much less political, much more comfortable with the room. But he's still someone with a tiny fan base, all things considered, and he's still not a great host. I realize they had problems getting even presenters this year, given the short time frame between the end of the Writers' Strike and the awards, and I assume they went to other possible hosts of, say, the Steve Martin variety, and were turned down because people wouldn't commit with a strike looming.

But it's time for Mr. Stewart to retire and go back to cable. It's like when the judges say on American Idol that a singer's voice isn't big enough for the song? Stewart's persona just isn't big enough for that room.

4) The Writers' Strike.

Yes, we had a deleterious impact on the Oscars. The strike is the reason for those lame clip reels they showed. I have to wonder, did they hire a new editor for their clip reels? Because those didn't feel like it was the ever-reliable Chuck Workman at the Avid. Even the "In Memoriam" reel had many notable holes in it, and most of the others -- well, let's just be glad the strike did settle, and we didn't have to watch 3 hours of them.

The strike is also, as mentioned above, the reason for the lower level of star wattage at the ceremony -- A lot of people were simply not available, having made other plans under the assumption that the Oscars would be canceled.

...So it's over, and we've all forgotten it already. My one regret: That we didn't have a party this year in which we could have reveled in milkshakes (for There Will Be Blood). Let's cross our fingers and hope that next year is, in every way, better.

LOWERED EXPECTATIONS FOR OSCAR 2008

Normally by now I would have been brainstorming ideas and soliciting your thoughts on fun food for our Oscar party. But we won't be having an Oscar party this year.

We're not the only ones, of course. Vanity Fair has canceled its Oscar party, and many other traditional parties have been canceled. We had a lot of reasons for not holding ours, including the non-party mood that everyone's in post-strike, and last minute nature of the Oscars themselves due to the strike.

But it feels a little weird, almost as if the Oscars aren't happening. And this year, frankly, I feel as if I don't have a dog in this hunt. Last year, I was a huge fan of Little Miss Sunshine (and not just because Sabrina --still!-- keeps getting confused for Abigail Breslin). But this year the only movie I feel I can really root for is Ratatouille. Which, of course, is segregated off in its own little animation category, rather than being in the Best Picture race where it belongs.

Best Picture will undoubtedly be No Country for Old Men. Of the three ultra-violent edgy pictures up for the big award, it seems to have the momentum (and doesn't have the "Wait-- were they twins or not?" confusion of There Will Be Blood). Juno was cute, but not a Best Picture, and Atonement was, in my eyes, a triumph of style over substance and ultimately hollow inside.

Juno, however, will undoubtedly win Best Original Screenplay. It's charming and quirky and well-written, but that's not why it will beat Ratatouille, the more deserving script. No, it'll win because of the heavily-publicized backstory of the writer, ex-stripper Diablo Cody. (Juno won the WGA award, by the way, but Ratatouille was not eligible for it. As we should all know from the strike, feature animation is not covered by the WGA.) There's an undercurrent of support for the little-seen Lars and the Real Girl, so a possibility of a surprise there.

If No Country sweeps, it will win Best Adapted Screenplay. If not, there's a chance for There Will Be Blood.

And other than that, I really don't care much this year. Maybe it's the movies. Maybe it's the strike. I'll watch the Oscars, of course. I've never missed them. And there are those in our household who are extremely excited about Miley Cyrus being a presenter. But without the party to plan for, and without more audience-friendly movies to root for, it all feels sort of flat.

Which is sad...

NOT QUITE A MEME, BUT WHY NOT?

I used to get a lot of those e-mail surveys ("Chocolate or vanilla?" "Coffee or tea?") that you're supposed to fill out and pass on (and send back to the person you got it from). And usually I'd fill them out and pass them on, because I found it interesting to learn trivia about my friends (As opposed to those "send-this-to-15-people-or-something-terrible-will-happen-by-this-time-tomorrow" e-mails).

I don't get so many anymore. It could be that I have less friends. Or it could be that they've been largely supplanted by blog-related memes.

But I got one from my friend Chris in Atlanta (who reads this blog -- Hi, Chris!) a couple of weeks ago, and now that the strike is over and Sabrina's Readathon is over, and I still have Chris's e-mail on my desktop, I thought I'd turn it into a meme and answer it here.

Anyone else is more than welcome to answer it as well by e-mail, or even better, in the comments. Just for fun.

Full name: Janet Elizabeth Scott Batchler
What are you most afraid of?: Being ultimately alone. And cockroaches.
What is the most recent movie that you have seen on bootlet?: Never have, never will.
Place of birth: Hollywood, CA. (Yes, really.)
Favorite food: Anything with grilled onions.
Natural hair color: Dirty blonde.
Ever been a Neat Freak?: Ha. Ha ha ha.
Ever been skinny dipping?: Nope.
Love someone so much it made you cry?: Often.
Ever been in a car accident?: A few. I was rear-ended when driving my 1-minute old car off the lot back in the '80s. In the same almost brand-new car, 3 weeks later, I had the front end smashed in by a nurse who had just worked a double shift and drove through a red light while I was in the intersection. And we were very lightly rear-ended on our way to Family Camp a few years ago. Never caused an accident though, and never injured in one.
Croutons or bacon bits?: Croutons.
Favorite day of the week?: Saturday, because it's the only day I stand a chance of getting to sleep in.
Favorite restaurant?: Lots to choose from. But I'll go with Cheesecake Factory because it's our default option for family celebrations.
Favorite flower?: Hydrangeas. But even more, I love Chinese Magnolia trees when they're in flower.
Favorite sport to watch?: Ice skating.
Favorite drink?: Non-alcoholic: Ice water. Alcoholic: Lemon drops.

Favorite ice cream?: It was Frosted Chocolate Malt at Swensen's. But Swensen's no longer exists in southern CA. So I'll say Moose Tracks (vanilla with tiny peanut butter cups and fudge).
Warner Bros. or Disney?: To watch? Or to work for?
Ever been on a ship?: Yes. The best was going on a fake battle on a still-sailing tall ship.
What color is your bedroom carpet?: Currently a soft sea green.
How many times did you fail your driver's test?: Never.
Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?: I had to go back and check to see what was the e-mail before the one from Chris containing this quiz. It was a contract bulletin from the Writers Guild.
What do you do when you're bored?: Surf the net.
Bedtime?: 10:30ish.
Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest?: No longer an e-mail.
Who will least likely respond?: I would say that would have to be someone who doesn't read it.
Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses?: Anyone who answers. (And now you know for sure that I didn't generate this quiz, because I would never write a sentence that ungrammatical.)
Favorite TV shows?: Currently on the air: Lost, American Idol. Waiting for its return: Heroes, Amazing Race
Last person you went to dinner with?: You mean out to dinner? What a lovely concept... We drove through McDonald's on our way home from the big Writers Guild meeting last week. Does that count?

Park or zoo?: Zoo.
Favorite colors?: Purple and green (together).
How many tattoos do you have?: Zero.
How many pets do you have?: 2 cats (Luke and Leia).
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?: God made the chicken, which laid the egg.
What do you want to do before you die?: Get to know my grandchildren
Have you ever been to Hawaii?: Yes, several times. Oahu, Hawaii, Maui, Kauai.
Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?: Mexico, Canada, England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Denmark, Holland, Belgium, Sweden. I'm sure I'm forgetting one or two.

Okay, that's it! Someone answer this, okay?

LAST SHOUT OUT TO SABRINA'S READATHON!

With the strike now over, that means that Sabrina's Readathon is also over.

Sabrina somehow managed to jam three books into the time between the big end-the-strike meeting at the Shrine Auditorium on Saturday night and Wednesday, the day writers could officially go back to work. And she did it in part while on a field trip that involved sleeping overnight on a tall ship (including standing watch, climbing the rigging, etc.
-- How come I didn't get field trips like that when I was in 5th grade?!).

Her final tally was $2625.95 raised to help those non-writers who were/are out of work due to the strike.

I am, understandably, quite proud of her.

And so I want to wish a heartfelt "Thank you!" to the many of you, readers of this blog, some of whom I have never met FTF, who supported her! Many, many thanks!

IT'S OVER

I must be the last person out there to acknowledge the end of the writers' strike. My apologies for not posting.

This last week has been sort of like when you're coming out of a dream, and you're still half asleep and not sure which is the true reality.


For writers on TV shows (well, at least those few TV shows going back into production), it was probably more like having ice water dashed on your face. One day you're spending 12 hours playing Guitar Hero III in your underwear (not me, I stress -- but I've heard from so many who spent their strike that way). And the next day you're back into 14 hour days at high-pitch.

Was it a good deal?

Mostly. We got some things we certainly would never have gotten without striking. Here are some good deal points from the strike:

--Jurisdiction over the Internet. This was huge. And we got a much better jurisdictional deal than the Directors Guild did. For them, jurisdiction is tied to budget minimums that, frankly, are much too high to be realistic for many many years. In our deal, if a WGA member works on an internet project (hired by a WGA signatory), that member is covered.

--Distributor's gross. Back in November, and again in December, the companies insisted, "We will never, never, NEVER pay residuals based on distributor's gross. Never, do you hear me?!" Somehow the strike seems to have given them some welcome amnesia on that point.

What's "distributor's gross" you ask? I won't begin to explain the arcane details -- because I can't, not in detail. But the companies originally wanted to pay our residuals based on "producer's gross," which is a LOT less money. Think of it as the difference between gross profits and net profits if you want. Or between wholesale and retail. What it means is that our residuals will be based on a much larger number. This is good.

--Open books. The companies have agreed to open their accounting to us so we can see actual numbers on which to compute our residuals. Right now, they basically tell us how much money they've made and we have to believe them. We have no access to their actual accounting. This is a huge item that could mean a fortune for writers in the future -- and as a writer who has indeed been gypped out of residuals, I am very happy for it. (Our very first residual check from Warner Bros. for Batman Forever seemed a tad low. We called the WGA to ask. They got into it. Shortly thereafter, we received a second check for the 90% of our residuals that WB had "just happened" to forget to pay us.)

Does this mean the studios will really be transparent and honest in their accounting from now on? Of course not. But they'll have fewer places to hide their shenanigans.

--Separated rights for work on the internet. When a writer sells a script of any kind to Hollywood, we give up copyright. We sign a contract that says that Warner Bros., say, is the "author" of the work in question. But we do keep some rights to derivative use of that work: those are our "separated rights." So if I write an original movie (not a sequel, not based on a book or comic book or anything else), I retain the right to write a novel out of my story, or a play, or an internet series... whatever. If the company who made the movie wants to do something else with it, they have to purchase my separated rights from me.

Without separated rights for the internet, a company could pay peanuts for work done on the web, then scoop up the ideas, characters, story, and make a fortune out of them in other media.

You think it wouldn't happen? Take a look at this article about the creator of the Cheetah Girls. As a book author, she did not have the protection of the WGA, and thus did not have a union protecting her separated rights. (And she clearly had a lousy lawyer.) This would be the story of every writer in Hollywood without the WGA.

What's not so good in the deal? A raft of stuff. A free "promotional" window for shows streamed on the internet in which writers don't get paid for the use of their work (I agree with the concept of a promotional window, but think this one is roughly twice too long). The lack of specific minimums for work on the internet. No raise in our DVD residuals.

But if you compare what's good to what was initially offered (which included rollbacks in virtually every area of our then-current contract), it's not bad at all.

The strike is over. The vote on the new contract is pending. And we can only hope, as always, that the future holds good things.

CROSSING MY FINGERS

The strike is almost over. So they say. Big WGA meeting Saturday night to hear the terms of the deal.... Maybe back to work on Monday. (Or not: "We now return you to your regularly scheduled unemployment.")

We have to take Sabrina to the meeting with us (Cory will be at a bat mitzvah), but they are providing child care. Sabrina was a little put out at that -- after all, if she is an "honorary" WGA member for her Strike Readathon, then shouldn't she be at the meeting? (We said no, she shouldn't. She'd be bored. And she'd hear a lot of words we'd like to pretend she doesn't know.)

Last chance(?) to support Sabrina's Readathon, by the way! Don't miss out!

So off we go to the big meeting. They say the writer's always the smartest person in the room. So what does it mean when you have a room (the Shrine Auditorium, in this case) with 3000 writers in it?

Fingers crossed. Maybe Monday will be a brand new world...

MOVIE THOUGHTS: HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT

There was no way I was going to get away with missing this movie.

After all, I have a daughter who spent hours last fall trolling the Internet for Hannah Montana concert tickets, trying to persuade me that $250, $350, $650 was really worth it -- I mean, c'mon, it's Hannah Montana, mom!


So we joined the millions of other girls who contributed to the record-setting $29 million opening weekend box office for the Best of Both Worlds movie.

And I do mean "girls." We got to the theatre almost an hour early. There was a line. All girls. Behind us, down the hall, was the already-forming line for the show after ours. Also all girls (including two birthday parties, who sang "Happy Birthday" and handed out cake standing in line).

The theatre was sold out. Not a free seat. And not a male in sight.

And you know what? With all that hype, with all that excitement... it was pretty fun.

Miley Cyrus is as popular as she is for a reason. She works incredibly hard (nice to see that onscreen in the "backstage" parts of the movie), she clearly loves what she does, she's cute as a button, and she seems genuinely nice, treating those around her well and professionally. Not bad for a role model of the "Tiger Beat" variety.

(For the uninitiated, the Hannah Montana show is about a girl, Miley Stewart, who is a rock star (Hannah Montana) but doesn't want anyone to know and tries to lead a normal life and keep her rock star status a secret; she wears a blonde wig as Hannah, her own brown hair as Miley. It's cute, well-written and performed, and could easily hold its own on a network rather than just the Disney Channel.)

The movie was as cute as Miley -- 3-D concert footage with all the major hits, most hitting all the right girl-empowerment notes. (Hey, don't knock it. Other than "Respect," I don't remember any girl-empowerment songs on the charts when I was a little girl.) It was fun to see the backstage stuff, especially the 36-second costume change (especially impressive as it appeared to be the moment she changes from Hannah to Miley).

The 3D was okay, technically spot on, using the same system James Cameron is using in Avatar But really, it was not necessary. (Nice glasses, though.) I suppose if you've never been to a stadium concert (or if you've always had really bad seats), you'd feel like you were right in the middle of the action. The show was well-produced all around, the songs are infectious and fun, performances were all good.

Ultimately, though, this movie rises and falls on Miley. And she delivers. Pretty astonishingly, when you realize she's 15 years old(!). I thought it was interesting, by the way, that the girls I took, and the others around me, responded much more vociferously to the Miley Cyrus half of the concert than to the Hannah half. This says to me that Miley has a career ahead of her after her Hannah Montana days.


There's a reason that the most jaded and cynical of reviewers have been giving this good reviews (90% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes: It's fun. And it's fun for an underserved market in the movie world: tween girls.

After hearing Sabrina rave about the movie, Lee wants to go. "No!" I told him. "Don't go alone!" Because, frankly, an adult male in that crowd would be, well, a bit creepy. So I guess he'll have to take Sabrina on a date. I think she won't mind.

As for me, I hope you'll excuse me. I feel a sudden need to dance around the house singing "Girls' Night Out." Bye!

BOOK MEME #2

Rumors, rumors, rumors. Is the strike over? Not until the President of my union says it's over.... But maybe soon.

In the meantime, I was tagged with a second book meme. Though I am getting memed out, this one was more interesting than the usual "count the pages/sentences" ones, and it's something to keep me off the various sites posting strike rumors.

Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?
War and Peace. I've tried. I really have. But when I only slogged through 150 pages even with the help of my book group, I pretty much knew it was a lost cause.

I just cannot read the Russians. Even in English, it's like a foreign language. Now, I know people who assume that if they don't like a book (or movie/TV/whatever), it means it's worthless. I'm not saying that at all. I trust the many people who read the great Russian writers and see whatever there is to be seen there. But for me -- nada. Zip.

Even this weekend, I went to multiple performances of Nikolai Gogol's The Government Inspector (my son was in it). By the final performance, I was able to say, "Yes, I can intellectually see how one might consider that that was supposed to be funny." But overall, the play itself just didn't work for me.

A friend told me, when I abandoned War and Peace that maybe what I need is to wait till I meet Tolstoy in heaven, and ask him to read it to me in the original Russian. Okay. Maybe that'll do it.

If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?

Now there's a fFordian question... I think I'll opt for the afternoon tea (I'd choose different people for clubbing, I'm sure). And I will choose Meg Murry O'Keefe (the adult woman, not the girl A Wrinkle in Time et al./Madeleine L'Engle), Hermione Granger (Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling), and Friday (Friday/Robert A. Heinlein).

But I'd rather have tea with the three authors.

Borrowing shamelessly from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde): you are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for a while, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?

You mean I'm going to have to read War and Peace after all?!...

Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?

You know, I've bluffed my way around movies that I haven't seen, but I honestly can't think of a single book I've pretended to have read. (Not since writing papers off Cliff Notes in college.)

You’re interviewing for the post of Official Book Advisor to some VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? (If you feel like you’d have to know the person, go ahead and personalise the VIP).

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. Brilliant, insightful, paradigm-shaking. And short enough for any VIP to have time to read it.

A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?

I feel as if I will never tap the depths of all I'd like to read in English. But I'd probably go for French, to be able to read Les Miserables in the original.

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?

I already have that book, which I am doing my annual read of right now: The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard.

Many years ago, I used to read The Lord of the Rings every year. I stopped when it got too familiar, but I expect I'll do a good deal of rereading of LOTR and Harry Potter on not-quite-annual cycles going forward.

I know that the book blogging community, and its various challenges, have pushed my reading borders. What’s one bookish thing you ‘discovered’ from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)?

I don't do that much book blogging (outside of Harry, of course), so not sure this question applies. But I'd say I've 'discovered' that you can find a real community of kindred spirits around a book, even if you never know them face to face.

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leather bound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.

I don't need my imagination for this one, as I used to have precisely that library. I think the most salient features are lots of natural light from all directions, and more shelf space than I have books. (If that means more space would have to magically appear from time to time, I'll trust that this good fairy can handle it.)

...Okay, as always, I hate tagging people, even though it's almost impossible for me to be tagged and ignore it. (Though Beth would seem an obvious choice on this one!) If you want to answer this meme, either in comments or on your own blog, please consider yourself tagged, and let us know you've done so, so we can check it out.

THE BOOK MEMES ARE OUT THERE

All of a sudden there are various book memes floating around the blogosphere, and I have been tagged by a couple.

Here is the book meme Sean tagged me with:

1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

I'll do it except for step 5. I don't mind being tagged, but I'm a bit squeamish about tagging others (also about forwarding those "tell 10 people you want them to have a good day" e-mails).

Anyway, the closest book is Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy, as I am at the beginning of my yearly re-read. I'm not at page 123 yet, but I don't mind skipping ahead (I know how it ends).

This is a fact about them, regardless of how silly it may seem. To say, "How silly of you!" is not exactly to bring Jesus' good news of the kingdom to them.

Instead, Jesus took time in his teaching to point out the natural beauty of every human being.

(The "them" referred to is people who view themselves as ugly, basically. Sorry -- the 5th sentence started in a weird place.)

If you want to be tagged by this meme, consider yourself tagged. And post your response in the comments so we can click over and find you. Thanks!