SMOKE AND MIRRORS MAKES ANOTHER LIST

Well, Smoke and Mirrors continues to wiggle up from the grave... This week it was listed as the #11 favorite script on ScriptShadow. And this month it was also listed as one of the top 10 unproduced scripts in Script Magazine.

It continues to amaze us how an unproduced script can still open doors and generate conversation. Here's hoping we see something more from it soon....

HOW TO WRITE A SCENE... COURTESY OF DAVID MAMET

I've heard about this memo of David Mamet's for years. I've seen snippets of it quoted, including his three questions. And I've passed the three questions on to my students.

Mamet's three questions have some overlap, by the way, with my own three questions. His are aimed more at the scene level, mine are aimed more at the overall story level.

Mamet's three questions, for those of you who don't want to bother to click to the article, are:

1) Who wants what?
2) What happens if they don't get it?
3) Why now?

These are great questions to ask at the scene level. I read far too many scenes which appear to be well-written, which have snappy or even profound dialogue... but in which nothing happens!

(My own three questions, since you asked...

1) What does the character want?
2) Does he get it?
3) What keeps him from getting it?>)

If you've ever tried to write a good scene, if you've ever wanted to write a good scene, then you should click over and read Mamet's memo. Here, I'll make it easy by repeating the link right here.

Enjoy!

STATISTICS CAN BE FUN

Some very funny graphing of famous movie quotes over at Flowing Data.

Think about it. How would you portray "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse" graphically? Or "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"?

Funny stuff. Check it out.

POST-MODERN: THE SPY LIST

Here's another oldie-but-goodie from the late, great Spy Magazine... I think it's ironically hilarious that this is still funny, some 20 years later, give that it's about how to know when something is post-modern.

(I mean, if things were post-modern 20 years ago, shouldn't we be post-post-modern by now? What does come after "post-modern," anyway?)

Feel free to add some other defining characteristics, especially for pomo film and TV....

Real-life postmodern stuff: Where is it? What is it?

[Excerpted – Ed.]

Architecture

• Does the building have pilasters or pediments or the same colour scheme as the 1984 Summer Olympics?
• Is it a cube with a peaked roof?
• For a building, is it funny?
• Is it funny but not a Las Vegas Hotel or a fast-food stand in Los Angeles?
• Is it easy to like?

Television

• Do the characters talk to the camera sometimes?
• Does the program have a “look”?
• Does it remind you of an old TV show, only it’s insincere and has better production values?

Interior design

• Was it designed by Daryl Hannah’s character in Wall Street?
• Is there more than one piece of furniture in the room with spheres or other geometric shapes for legs?
• Would you really want to live there?

Movies

• Does it remind you of an old movie, only it’s set in a postapocalyptic wasteland?
• Does it remind you of an old TV show, only it’s insincere and has better production values, and is longer?

Fashion

• Is the garment modular?
• Does it remind you of an old Chanel dress, only it’s ironic and has worse production values?
• Would you feel foolish wearing it outside New York or Los Angeles?

Theatre and performance art

• Does it seem like a parody of something, only without jokes?
• Is it easier than old-fashioned performance art to like, but just as easy to fall asleep during?

BAD JOKE DAY AT SCL

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar....

It's Bad Christian Joke day over at Stuff Christians Like. I confess to telling some of these. I confess to hearing many of these from the pulpit (though Mark's Sherlock Holmes-and-Watson-go-camping joke is still my fave).

And I confess to laughing more than once while reading the comments. Click over if you could use a laugh (or a groan).

WRAPPING UP THE OSCARS 2010

A few post-Oscar thoughts.

•I am a fan of Neil Patrick Harris. I loved his "Put Down the Remote" opening number for last year's Emmys. But Sunday's opening number was disastrous and tacky. A song with jokes about prison rape and masturbation? To open the Oscars? Excuse me? Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought it was remotely funny?

•Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, however, I pretty much enjoyed. I thought the back-and-forth zingers were better than the often-labored monologues we've had to sit through in recent years. Best joke was the one about Christophe Waltz playing a Jew-Hunter... "Well, Christoph?"

•But I still miss Billy Crystal's openings.

•I liked the dance number. I actually liked it a lot. Some terrific choreography, and I loved getting to hear snippets of the scores.

•I did not miss the songs being sung live on TV. I think it's been a long time since the Oscars nominated five songs worth being sung, and that's a good 15 minutes better used on other things.

•The "In Memoriam" clips were fine. I am not offended by the omission of Farrah Fawcett or Bea Arthur, who were primarily TV stars. (Nor would I have been offended if they'd left Michael Jackson out.) I feel very confident that more significant behind-the-scenes or below-the-line personalities were also omitted.

•Best presenter bits: Ben Stiller as a Na'vi (I particularly liked the fishing pole). And Robert Downey, Jr. and Tina Fey presenting one of the screenplay awards.

•The tribute to horror was odd. And, as many have pointed out, Twilight is not strictly a horror movie (though it has horror elements), and thus the teeth-bleached Taylor Lautner and the unable-to-read-a-teleprompter Kristen Stewart were really not appropriate presenters. Why not Jamie Lee Curtis?

•And speaking of the teenaged presenters... Why can't any of these girls stand up straight?! Kristen! Miley! Stop slouching!

•And speaking of the tribute to horror.... Where were the fact-checkers for the writers? The Exorcist (1973) was not the last Oscar nominee from the horror genre. A little movie called The Silence of the Lambs was not only nominated in 1991, it won Best Picture. If you're going to include a clip of Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in your horror clipfest, perhaps you should be aware of it when you announce said clips?

•And speaking of the need for fact-checking.... Up was not the second movie nominated for both Best Picture and Best Animated Feature. It was indeed the second animated movie nominated for Best Picture; Beauty and the Beast was the first. But Beauty and the Beast was not nominated for Best Animated Feature because that category would not exist till 2001. Again, where were the fact checkers? Victims of the recession? Or were we just being sloppy?

•And speaking of sloppiness.... Some rather bad camera work throughout the show. Come on, guys. This is the *Oscars*.

•I liked the way several of the categories were presented. I very much liked the intros to the two screenplay awards, with the snippets of the scripts presented over the scenes from the movies. I also liked the interviews with previous winners of the Short Films awards, letting us see why these categories are valid.

•I think bringing up friends/co-stars of the Best Actor/Actress nominees, and doing the same thing with film clips for the Best Director nominees, worked pretty well. (Though a little embarrassing that they needed Jason Reitman's dad to speak on his behalf -- no one else wanted to?) I think they probably need to change this up for next year, though. It's going to get old pretty fast.

•Best acceptance speeches. Christophe Waltz. Jeff Bridges (was he high? Some of my friends think so.). Sandy Bullock. The Academy should make it clear to all nominees: It is all right to prepare your speech in advance.

•Worst acceptance speeches. Mo'Nique. Honey, you just won an Oscar. This is not the time to try to get even with everyone you imagine may have wronged you at some time in your life. All you've done is guarantee that no one will want to work with you again. ...And the "Kanye" moment surround best Documentary Short where the wacky woman grabbed the mike and proceeded to make no sense. Someone who else who has just proven to a billion people that no sane person should ever work with her again. Where was the orchestra when you need them?

•As for the awards themselves... I was basically happy with the results. I would have voted for Meryl Streep over Sandra Bullock. I would have voted for Avatar or Up over The Hurt Locker (a movie that could have been made, with different names and places, any time in the past 50 years). But, as I've said before, I don't think an Academy filled with actors is ready to choose a Best Picture in which actors do not appear on screen as a recognizable version of themselves.

•Very happy for Kathryn Bigelow's historic win. I hope someone gives her something with a big, juicy budget now. Bond. Wonder Woman....

•But an absolute slap on the wrist and on both cheeks for playing off the brand-new Best Director with "I am woman, hear me roar." Tacky, tacky, tacky. (And a moderate slap on the wrist for playing Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfriend onto the stage with "Thank Heaven for Little Girls.")

•Best dresses: Rachel McAdams. J-Lo. Demi Moore. And the top half of Zoe Saldana.

And that was the Oscars... Oh, and as for the food... We had a bucket of fried chicken (Precious). A prawn casserole (District 9). Burritos from Chipotle (which sponsored Food, Inc. screenings). Hot dogs (Up). Cheese and bread (A Matter of Loaf and Death). Black-and-white cookies (The Blind Side). Chocolate ganache cake (Julie and Julia). Crack pie (mostly 'cause I wanted to make it, but let's say it's for that giant crack that opens up in Logorama). Hershey's chocolate bars (Up). Blueberry cheesecake cupcakes (Avatar-- *Blue*berry, get it?) Peanuts and pretzels (Up in the Air). And to drink: Apple cider (Fantastic Mr. Fox). Little airplane-sized bottles of liquor (Up in the Air). And French wine (Julie & Julia).

A fine time was had by all.... Until next year!

THE OSCARS

When I was a little kid, I used to go into the bathroom as soon as the show as over and practice my acceptance speech. I guess I assumed I was winning an award for acting, as I had no idea what any of those other awards were really for. All I knew was that somehow, the Oscars were important.

And then, when I was on the fringes of the industry, devouring every script I could read (they were hard to find in those days), bouncing from studio to studio as an office temp, trying to find someone to take me seriously... say, as seriously as I took the Oscars. We watched, we analyzed, we rooted for our favorite movies, we videotaped and even replayed the ceremony the next day. Because the Oscars were important.

Now, some years later, I have worked in the biz long enough to get just a little jaded. The Oscars are important, yes, but only in how they might or might not nudge the industry in certain directions (what kinds of movies to greenlight, for instance). And I still enjoy watching the show, but a certain amount of snark has crept in.

I'm not so sure that, in this case, growing up has been a good thing. Part of me still longs to watch with the thrill of my childhood. I don't even get to watch my kids enjoy it the way I did, because they're too close to the biz. They know too much. Maybe they sneak off to their bathrooms and practice their acceptance speeches in front of the mirror, who knows. But I bet theirs, unlike mine, are loaded with a list of people to thank -- they know how these things are done, after all.

Nevertheless, we will enjoy this Sunday's show, I think. I'm a big Steve Martin fan. And a big Adam Shankman fan, for that matter. We have some movies to root for this year, and we've seen (or read) many of the nominated films. And we're having our little party (it's almost too small to call it that...), so it'll be fun no matter what.

So all that leaves is the issue of who will win.

So many awards are done deals this year. Jeff Bridges for Best Actor -- he's won everything else. Sandra Bullock for Best Actress because people like her and they know they'll never get another chance to give her one and Meryl gets nominated every year so she'll have another chance (though Meryl *should* win this year). Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz. Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique.

Best Animated Feature will go to UP; I'd be thrilled if FANTASTIC MR. FOX snuck in there, but it won't. Most of the below-the-line awards (Art Direction, Sound, etc.) will go to AVATAR, and rightfully so... though I wouldn't be surprised to see Cinematography go in a different direction, because so much of the movie was "shot" in a computer and not with a camera (and therefore cinematographers may be loathe to vote for it).

Best Original Screenplay will, I think, go to Quentin Tarantino for INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. And I think Best Adapted will go to Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner for UP IN THE AIR. A terrific adaptation, it's a film that was a front-runner for best picture for a long time, a lot of people love it, and besides, people will want to see if Reitman is still shunning Turner in public.

Best Live Action Short, one of those categories that usually determine who wins the Oscar pool, is one where we have a real rooting interest this year. USC film school alum, Gregg Helvey, is nominated for his student film KAVI, which already won the Student Academy Award. Gregg was very helpful to me when I was getting started at USC, and he's a great guy and a talented filmmaker. KAVI is a terrific film, and about something important (human trafficking), and I think it stands a good chance to win. We will cheer.

Best Score will be interesting this year, because all five movies had stunningly composed scores, and all very different. I think I'll be happy with any of them, and it's the one field where I can honestly say I couldn't choose if I had to.

Let's see.... am I forgetting anything?

Oh yeah. The big race: AVATAR vs. THE HURT LOCKER.

AVATAR, the ground-breaking movie that changes how movies are made (already I'm hearing from people that the 3D in ALICE IN WONDERLAND, released today, feels just lame after seeing AVATAR). Epic in scope, with a budget of anywhere between $230 and $500 million, depending on whom you read (probably around $300 million). Domestic gross of over $700 million, worldwide gross of over $2 billion.

Versus THE HURT LOCKER. A tiny, intimate story (yeah, it's a war story but with an $11 million budget, which makes it tiny). Seen by very few people, with a domestic gross of just $12 million (which means it is still far from making a profit, though the nominations and awards bode well once the DVD returns start coming in).

And directed by ex-spouses Jim Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow, respectively.

So who wins?

I think Best Director is easy to call. Kathryn Bigelow wins. Yes, Jim won the Golden Globe, but she's won most of the other pre-Oscar awards. Jim already has one (for TITANIC), and does anyone really want to see a repeat of his "I'm king of the world" speech? Jim has publicly said several times that Kathryn should win (either a statement of humility and graciousness, or of sour-grapes and covering-your-ass, depending on whom you talk to). And I think everyone can get behind the excitement of the first woman ever to win Best Director. (Will it change things for female directors in Hollywood? No. Not really.)

But Best Picture.... That's a tricky call. Though many found AVATAR derivative in its story-telling (note that it's not nominated for Best Original Screenplay -- though it was nominated by the WGA, I have no idea why), it truly is a film that changes big budget filmmaking. It truly is ground-breaking, revolutionary. It goes where no one has gone before (to quote a film which *should* have been nominated IMHO). Is it the best movie of the year? Technically, in terms of filmmaking, yes. Absolutely.

But will it win? Well, that may depend on the whims of the acting branch of the Academy, the largest branch of voters. Many actors are less than thrilled with AVATAR because of what they foresee for their own craft. Actors like to see people on screen (okay, they like to see themselves on screen), not animated versions of people. Some actors (I've heard them) don't think the extreme greenscreen motion-capture type of acting that a movie like AVATAR requires is really acting. (Me, I think it takes film acting full circle back into black box theatre acting, and I find that intriguing.) What's interesting is that the few people who have experienced having to create this kind of performance (say, Andy Serkis as Gollum) talk about how challenging it is, how fulfilling it is for them as actors.... But so few actors have experienced it, and that may mean they feel reluctant to vote for a movie that hints this may be their future...

So I won't make the call. I think AVATAR will win... but I won't put money on it. In fact, instead of giving a prize to the person who gets the most right, we may print out Oscar Bingo cards, and give prizes for that instead....

Because this year, it's a little bit of a crap shoot.

And that may make it really exciting after all!

OSCAR FOOD 2010

So after a couple years' hiatus, we're able to have a few people over for a small Oscar viewing party this year. And it's time to figure out the food.

(Okay it's way past time to figure out the food. I'm running late this year.)

Here's how it works: Everyone brings food representing one of the nominated movies. Not just the big 10 -- any nominated movie. And no, we didn't make the rule up this year just so we could be showered with French cuisine for JULIE AND JULIA.

We've had some great and creative spreads in the past. Deviled eggs for THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. Kentucky Fried Chicken for LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. Doughnuts for THE "LARD" OF THE RINGS (followed, the next year, by two stacks of doughnuts for THE "LARD" OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS). Toasted hero" sandwiches in honor of Anakin Skywalker.

We've had bananas for KING KONG (accompanied by a stuffed gorilla hugging a Barbie doll). Cheese for WALLACE AND GROMIT. Endless amounts of chocolate for CHOCOLAT. We've had "a spa salad with "Sense" spelled out in carrots, accompanied by an ice cream cake with "Sensibility" spelled out in hot fudge. We even had the Normandy invasion recreated out of meat loaf and mashed potatoes (dyed blue), with little plastic soldiers climbing up onto the "shore."

So what do we eat this year? Here's a link to the list of nominated movies.... I have just a few days to pull this together! Help me out!