REALITY CHECK

Maybe the reason I end up watching so much reality TV (compared to scripted TV) is because it's less work. When I watch scripted TV, I find myself rewriting in my head, or replotting, or making a mental note of something that was done especially well. When I watch reality TV, I can turn that part of my brain off and just watch like everyone else.

Excuses aside, I thought I'd just weigh in here on the beginnings of a couple of this season's reality shows.

Survivor

Or should that be, "Survivor: The Racist Season"? That's at least what some would have us believe. Or should it be "Survivor: The Naked Ploy for Ratings"? (Probably more accurate...)

If you haven't been watching (or reading about it), this season's Survivor consists of 4 teams, 5 members each, divided by race: Asian, black, Hispanic, white. A "social experiment," we are to believe. This experiment, apparently, will show us what happens when people of the same race are put together in the same environment -- because of course in real life, we're all perfectly integrated and people of the same race never hang together.

Is it working? Depends on what you mean. The smaller size of the teams isn't really working, if you ask me. Each team feels like the endgame because it's so small, yet we don't know the people well enough to be at that point. And when one team threw an immunity challenge to get rid of one member this week, the import of their action on such a small team seemed particularly idiotic. (But was it? At Tribal Council, said member, whose name I simply don't remember, professed undying love for a member of another team whom he's never even talked to -- a little too weird to be around for 39 days, perhaps...)

As for the racism issues... Well, one of the lessons we always repeat to ourselves with regards to our own writing is, "Keep your characters in the same room." In other words, you can't have conflict between characters if the characters have no chance to interact. In the same way, the potential of conflict along racial lines has been effectively removed from Survivor so far this season (though the Asian team has already started dividing along nationalistic lines). Does that give us a more "pure" Survivor, where the conflicts are based purely on personality? Or a more tame one, when we were promised more edgy?

It sort of doesn't matter. With teams of 5 (two teams now down to 4), a merge has to be coming sooner rather than later. And then we'll be back to the status quo, all promotional gimmicks over.

Dancing With the Stars

Just this week I had to teach a shortened version of our class on "The Spiritual Needs of the Audience," and I had to miss Dancing With the Stars to do it. As I started the first spiritual need -- the Need for Beauty -- I realized why I was missing the show so much: It so meets the need for beauty.

I just love this show, if only for the way it makes me smile. And I love the way our whole family flocks to watch together. And the way Lee gets up to show Sabrina how to waltz during commercials. Yes, it feels like a flashback to 1950s tv -- but I unashamedly love this show. (Clearly I'm not alone, given that it was no. 1 last week -- which still sort of astonishes me.)

Right now I'm a Joey Lawrence fan, with Emmitt Smith close behind. Emmitt is just so smooth and light on his feet -- you can tell he's not even thinking about what his feet are doing, which is one of the marks of a good dancer in my book (I hate it when I can see them counting their beats mentally). Mario lost it a little for me this week with the showboating, but his first week was so strong. Jerry Springer is giving us a lesson on how to behave when you're publicly put in a situation where you're not playing to your strengths -- he's playing the bad cards he was dealt beautifully (with Harry Hamlin close behind on that score).

Why haven't I mentioned any of the women? Well, somehow they're just not that interesting this year. Sara the country singer is too embarrassed by her own body. Willa (I don't even know who she is in real life) is terrific, but clearly has no fan base whatsoever. Monique and Vivica Fox both did well, but haven't shown the personality I'd like to see, falling back on rather cliche sexiness instead (and same for Willa, who has better moves if worse scores).

But I'll be happy to change my vote, as the contestants work hard and continue to amaze. All I can say is, I won't be missing an episode. Somehow this is a TV show that just purely makes me happy every week. I turn off the TV smiling. And how many shows can you say that about?