THE HIDDEN SECRETS OF HARRY POTTER

On Sunday, July 8, the A&E (Arts & Entertainment) Network will air The Hidden Secrets of Harry Potter at 10:00 p.m. This is the TV special I was interviewed for back in May, along with Steve Vanderark and John Granger, both obviously much greater names in fandom than am I.

The special's producer assures me that the show is terrific, and that A&E and Warner Bros. are both very excited about it. They expect, in fact, to air it repeatedly on A&E between July 8 and the release of the movie version of Order of the Phoenix.

Set your TiVos now!

MORE HP PREDICTIONS

As I continue my Harry Potter read-through (just about to finish Prisoner of Azkaban), I have been pondering a few more out-and-out predictions for Deathly Hallows...

Here are a few:

1)....Peter Pettigrew will save Harry's life somehow, in payment of the life-debt he owes Harry. I don't think this necessarily means Peter will die, however. I expect he will rather give Harry information that helps saves Harry's life. After all, Peter is, ultimately, a betrayer.

2)....As I've said recently, the house-elves (most of them, at least) will join forces to fight alongside the Order of the Phoenix at Hogwarts. With wands in their hands, they will prove formidable. Hermione will exude "I told you so" about this.

3)....We will see Fenrir Grayback again in DH.

4)....Someone will Apparate into, out of, or within Hogwarts. Without the help of Fawkes. And it won't be a house-elf. Maybe it'll be Harry. Not sure about that, but someone will do it.

5)....Harry will attempt again to cast "Crucio." If he succeeds, his doing so will have dire consequences for Harry himself.

Okay, there are just a few out-there thoughts. What do you think? Agree? Disagree?

MOVIE THOUGHTS: OCEAN'S 13

You know a movie didn't make much of an impression when you forget to blog about it.

A good con movie is like a seduction. You know you're being invited to go on a trip that's at least a little bit naughty, and that's part of the pleasure of it. We wouldn't (hopefully!) hang with these kinds of people in real life, we wouldn't partake in their activities. If we had to think about it, we'd certainly acknowledge that we have severe moral problems with the actions of the people we're identifying with through the movie. But the seduction keeps us from thinking about it. Who wants to think when you're having so much fun. So for two hours, we let ourselves be seduced. And if the movie works, it's worth the trip.

Sometimes it doesn't work. For me, Catch Me If You Can made the pathology of the Leonardo diCaprio character so blatant, I couldn't buy an instant of his charm.

And of course, sometimes it does work. The Sting is a seductive movie, pulling us into the world of these con men, floating us away on the sheer charm of Paul Newman and Robert Redford. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels charms us in a different way, and we go along with it.

And Ocean's 11 -- either the original 1960 Frank Sinatra/Rat Pack version or the 2001 George Clooney/Brad Pitt version -- had charm to spare. The world of Vegas, as portrayed onscreen, is sexy, it's alluring, it's full of high rollers who look oh so good in tuxedos. The guys are clever, the mark deserves what he's getting, the relationships all work. A seduction worth the two hours.

Ocean's 13? Not so much. They make a token effort to seduce us -- look, George Clooney in a tux! But it's as if they showed up with day-old carnations instead of roses. The seduction is an afterthought... and as a result, we get bored. And when you're bored in the middle of being seduced, well, that's a problem.


Part of the problem is in the premise of the movie. We just don't care enough about Reuben (Elliott Gould) to think it's worth it to concoct this fantastic scheme to bring down the guy who scammed him. (And given that he's proven himself to be quite the scammer himself, we have less reason to care.)

We're told this is all about revenge, revenge is sweet, yada yada. Yet when they need help from Andy Garcia, the guy they scammed so successfully in Ocean's 11, he jumps in to help them. Turns out the new victim's hotel blocks his pool. But wait a minute -- what about revenge? If that's such an overpowering motive, then how could Andy Garcia possibly team up with Danny Ocean, the very guy he should want vengeance against? His involvement ultimately undercuts everything.

The actual scam is clever. Rig a casino so that for 3 minutes, everything pays out big -- craps, roulette, slots, even blackjack. Then clear the casino before the powers that be can realize they've been had. I would have liked to see more of the set-up for this, because it was a good idea indeed. But it was over much too fast, a bit too confusing, and we were back to the stuff that didn't work so well.

Yes, George and Brad look great. Other performances were fine -- though Matt Damon's crass seduction of Ellen Barkin is insulting to all women over the age of 35. But in the end, the filmmakers just didn't care enough to seduce us, the audience.

Rent 11 instead. Either one. Now there's a seduction...

LASHAWN'S THREE QUESTIONS...

LaShawn Barber posted the following three questions over at Fantasy Fiction for Christians, and Travis Prinzi reposted them over at Sword of Gryffindor (my first-click for HP-related news and ponderings), and now that I'm through with the festivities and melancholies of graduation, I thought I'd do a bit of pondering and remembering myself...

1) How/when did you become a Harry Potter fan?

I received the first three books for Christmas 1999. I'd heard about them of course, but my kids were too young for the "Harry is evil" folks to register on my radar, and I only knew of the books as phenomenally successful kids' books. I was thrilled to get them, because I always like to get books for Christmas, do a lot of reading usually between Christmas and New Year's, and was happy to have 1000 pages or so waiting for me.

My writers group was headed down to San Diego for the Y2K New Year's weekend. I took the books with me, planning to read them at bedtime or other down times. And we were getting there a day or so ahead of most of the group, so more potential reading time there.

But that posed a problem. Because I got through Sorcerer's Stone that first day. Loved it, but didn't quite yet realize what I had just dipped my toe into. I was in trouble by the halfway point in Chamber of Secrets, though. Because now I was thoroughly hooked, and yet here I was with a group of 20+ people, and all I wanted to do was read.

I managed somehow. But somewhere I do have a picture from that weekend (it was on the hood of the stove at our old house) of me lazed out on a couch reading Chamber while everyone else was, I can only assume, at the beach.

Needless to say, I was a fan before the big weekend was over.

2) What was your first reaction (physical and/or mental) when you read the scene in which Snape killed Dumbledore?

My first reaction was ruined by the blabbermouths who got to the media before the book was released. I read in a little snippet in the L.A. Times (shame on them!) about two days before the book came out.

My reaction? I was intensely sad. But was I sad because of Dumbledore's death, or because I knew something I shouldn't know? I'm not sure.

I desperately hope the Legion of Spoilers out there will heed J.K. Rowling's pleas not to give away anything this time around. And I may stop reading any media whatsoever for a couple of days ahead of release day.

3) How/when will you read Deathly Hallows?

I have never been to a bookstore release party for any of the books, so I plan to go to one this year with my son (my daughter will be at camp). (Anyone have suggestions on bookstores to head to in the L.A. area?)

I will not read that night. I hope I will have the willpower not even to open the cover.

From there, we have two possibilities, depending on feasibility, affordability, etc.

Plan A: I will pick up my daughter from camp on Saturday. I will drop off my son at the bus to his camp on Sunday afternoon. And then Lee, Sabrina and I will head to some nice, reasonably posh hotel (the best Priceline has to offer!) where they will go off for daddy-daughter time, and I will sit by the pool reading-reading-reading and snapping my fingers for the cabana boy from time to time. I will read as slo-o-o-o-o-wly as possible. And then I will cry (I'm sure). And then I will start reading again.

Plan B: I will wake up Saturday morning. I will tell Lee to go pick up Sabrina from camp. I will tell Cory he has to pack his own suitcase for camp. I will curl up with the book and read till my eyes fall out. I will pause to eat whatever Lee puts in front of me, should he be so kind. Slowly. And then cry. And then reread.

And after the second read, and after Cory returns from camp, we will start our family read-through together. (Lee is hoping for a return appearance, however brief, of Delores Umbridge, simply because he likes my voice for her so much.)

How about you?

GRADUATION

I am still trying to process Cory's graduation, still trying to figure out why it's been such an emotional experience.

My own 6th grade graduation was nothing. No ceremony, no diploma. It was a little unusual, in that I hadn't gone to my local school for 6th grade. I was pulled out (the only one from my particular elementary school) to go to a special experimental class for gifted kids. But even with that, we just moved on to junior high with no fanfare, no orientation. It was just another step in the inevitable move toward high school.

Somehow Cory's graduation means more. Maybe it's because the issue of where one goes to school next is so malleable here in the private school world. So much more fraught with pressure of all sorts. Maybe it's because here in L.A. there's such high turnover of people. Cory's class has been unusual in that, with only 4 kids leaving over 7 years (as opposed to Sabrina's, say, where 9 or 10 kids have left in 5 years so far). Maybe it's because the very small class has led to such bonding between the kids.

Or maybe it's just me, suddenly aware of the passage of time. Remembering walking in to school on the first day of kindergarten, and wondering how 7 years went by. Maybe it's just that I've always been someone who lives in the future, not in the past, and the sudden jerk back to look at the past has been unsettling.

Regardless of the reason, it is unexpectedly unsettling. (And looking to the future, as I so often do -- the future that seems so suddenly right around the corner -- I wonder if this is what sending them off to college will feel like.)

We try to have several themes for each summer in our family ("No clothes on the floor in 2004" was a memorable one). This year we have decided to watch movie musicals all summer long. We started last night with Fiddler on the Roof. Having been in the show in high school, I know every song (and much of the dialogue) by heart. But for the first time ever, I found myself fighting tears during "Sunrise, Sunset":

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze...

I'd like to say it's going to be a long summer. A long 6 years till high school graduation. But I'm afraid it's all going to fly by in an instant...

REPORTING IN ON THE READ-THROUGH

I am so emotional over Cory's graduation, and so unable to fully understand what all my conflicting emotions are (imagine how he feels!), that I am stepping back to the world of Harry Potter today (a world which will soon have its own conflicting emotions attached!).

Just wanted to report in on my read-through. I am nearing the end of Chamber of Secrets. (Obviously I need to start reading a lot faster!) The thing that strikes me most is how very young the kids are! (Sort of like looking back at those old kindergarten pictures -- oh, I have to stop this!)

I am very impressed on this read-through by how well J.K. Rowling has captured the exact age of the kids, something I don't think I had really noticed previously until the "capslock" teenage angst of Order of the Phoenix. I can almost pin down specific kids that I know and see them in the roles of the book -- Cory's friend Daisy is quite the 12-year-old Hermione, for instance. They all feel so real as 12-year-olds, in their dialogue, in their choices, in their attitudes.

I also found myself noticing on this read-through just how magically powerful the house-elves (as presented in the form of Dobby) really are. Dobby's the one who blocks the barrier at Platform 9 3/4 so Harry and Ron can't get through.

Dobby's also the one who bewitches the rogue bludger that knocks Harry off his broom, ultimately ending up in his arm being deboned. Think about the extreme reaction by Hermione to Quirrell doing much the same thing in Sorcerer's Stone, then think about how Dobby pretty much gets away with this without anyone seeing much of a need to rein him in. Note, too, that Dobby is performing what amounts to pretty powerful magic without a wand.

In What Will Harry Do? (buy it NOW!), I do point out the power of having the Hogwarts house-elves join the wizards for a big (final?) battle at Hogwarts, particularly noting how valuable it would be to have creatures on your side who can apparate within the school. But as I read Chamber, I feel more and more that we are going to see some serious butt-kicking on the part of the house elves in Book 7.

Let's just hope someone thinks to give them wands...

CORY'S GRADUATION SPEECH

I am so proud of my son today. He gave his graduation speech -- the first funny one they had ever had -- and it was astonishingly well received. (Okay, maybe not so astonishing.)

Our assistant head of school said it was the best graduation speech she had read or heard in all her (many!) years of attending graduations. Cory delivered it perfectly (even pointing at people during the "or you?" section). And he looked gorgeous, to boot.

I'm just really proud of him. And here, because several people have asked, is his speech. (It'd make more sense if you could recite the Code of Conduct verbatim, as half the audience could, but you'll get the idea...)

Good morning. I am here to bring you the latest news about a serious viral epidemic which seems to be geographically centered in northern Santa Monica. Because of the constellation of symptoms that manifest themselves in those suffering from it, the illness has come to be called... “Code of Conduct Syndrome.”

This strange virus appears to affect children, causing them to behave in ways significantly different from most children their age. We have reports of boys and girls raising their hands in class... Tucking in their shirts without being told to... And saying “Please” or “Thank you” absolutely spontaneously. We have even received unconfirmed reports of young men taking off their hats to say the Pledge of Allegiance -- even when they are not wearing any hats!

Obviously, this bizarre disorder affects the minds of those afflicted. Earliest studies show that the infection enters the ear of the victim and makes it way to the brain. There, it attaches itself to the cerebral cortex. This activates a neurological signal generating unprecedented courtesy in the behavior of the victim.

This “courtesy” virus appears to eat away at the victim’s brain until he or she is thoroughly polite, even when not thinking about it. Those suffering from Code of Conduct Syndrome -- or CCS for short -- have been reported holding doors open, complimenting people for no obvious reason, being kind to those around them and even... doing their own work. They refuse to cheat or tell lies. They even keep their promises.


These unfortunate children do not even know the meaning of the word “rude.” Instead they are respectful and courteous. Showing such symptoms, how will they ever be able to survive in greater Los Angeles?

Are you infected with Code of Conduct Syndrome? Or you? Or you? You might even be a carrier, with the potential to infect others. Watch for these symptoms: Do you find yourself taking responsibility for your actions? Do you try to improve yourself every day? Have you given thought to what it means to be a good American citizen? If you can answer “yes” to any of these questions, you may indeed have the virus.

A larger question must be asked: Is there any hope for the growing number of children showing signs of Code of Conduct Syndrome?

According to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, most schoolchildren in America show no trace of the syndrome. Preliminary research indicates some children with CCS do grow out of this malady by high school. However, an alarmingly high percentage of victims remain incurable -- infected with good behavior for life.

Early data has identified the epicenter of the outbreak -- what professional epidemiologists call “the hot zone” -- as a small, extremely high-quality educational facility known as C-- School Teachers at that school, in fact, have been shown to nurture the environment where the hardy CCS virus flourishes.

One thing is conclusive. Because of its present containment with the confines of northernmost Santa Monica, Code of Conduct Syndrome has so far afflicted only a relative few. We can only hope that this strange disease... spreads.

SONORUS 2007

Just a quick report on Sonorus 2007 from last weekend.

I had a blast, I have to say. I haven't done the Harry Potter convention thing before, and I realize this was a very small one, but I thought it was very well done. There were about 200 people there, and everyone I met was a delight to talk to. Lots of people in costume, but not so many as to make me feel abnormal for dressing, well, normally.

John Granger spoke all too briefly, a quick rundown of his Unlocking Harry Potter, in which he provides several frameworks through which to view J.K. Rowling's work. For me, the alchemy stuff is always the most fascinating (though I do get lost after a point), and the post-modern analysis is the weakest. Be that as it may, John's book is one of the few that will survive the publication of Deathly Hallows.

John was followed by Steve VanderArk, who could go on the road with a stand-up routine any time he wants. He gave us a quick PowerPoint tour through various Harry Potter locations (floor plans of 4, Privet Drive, for instance), pinpointed where places like Ottery St. Catchpole are on the map, and was delightful and hilarious in discussing the nature of being a fan. Really terrific.

After that, the conference split into two, with a small group of people joining John, Steve and me to talk about, mostly, Book 7 prognostication. This ranged from the wacky ("Madam Pince and Argus Filch are Snape's parents") to the interesting ("Is Harry a Horcrux?"), and was a lot of fun. We probably could have kept going for another couple of hours!

I also got to do a bit of book-signing -- Remember, only a few weeks left to buy What Will Harry Do?, which I know you're going to want to have right next to you on your first reading of Deathly Hallows so you can check off my accuracy. (Okay, fine, your second reading.)

Anyway, there's the report on Sonorus. A lot of fun, and made me want to run out and see what the next big conference is going to be.

SEE ME ON A&E!

I hear the date for my appearance on A&E's Harry Potter special has been set. It's Sunday, July 8, on A&E. I believe it's at 8 p.m., still have to confirm that. (I don't have the exact title of the show yet, but believe me, I'll let everyone know.)

I haven't seen clips yet, but someone who has told me it all looks terrific, and, most important (ha), I look good. So I feel confident in telling you to set your TiVos!

Save the date!

TV THOUGHTS: ON THE LOT

Okay, I'm a bit prejudiced here. I have a friend who was supposed to be on On the Lot, who made it up through the final cut of contestants until visa problems messed him up. So every week I watch the show thinking, "Rob would have done better."

But that aside... Is this the best they can do?!!

Thousands upon thousands of people submitted short films to this Mark Burnett-Steven Spielberg (in name only so far)-produced reality show, and what we get is fart jokes, toilet jokes, ethnic jokes and stereotypes, and weak attempts at sleaze?

I bet I could re-cast this show and come up with 18 better fresh new filmmakers within a week!

To the show's credit, there are a couple of interesting filmmakers there. Zach the special effects whiz has turned in some clever stuff, and I really liked Adam's short musical "Dough" last night. But in general, these short films are just embarrassing. I've served as a juror for enough short film festivals to have seen many, many mediocre films... and most of the On the Lot shorts wouldn't have made it into the finals of these festivals, weak as their competition might be.

The show itself isn't well run. The girl who hosts the show is a good match for the films, as she is also embarrassing. She flubs the names of the filmmakers, she can't carry off the "after the break" shtick that Ryan Seacrest has perfected, and she (as Lee commented last night) acts with her chest.

And when one tries to vote, as I did last night (for "Dough," since I was appalled by several of the other films), the web site won't even let you get to a site where you can vote. In fact, the web site doesn't appear to have been updated recently -- not good for a call-in-and-vote show. And when I called in a vote, instead of getting confirmation that one has voted for the right person (as with, say, American Idol's "Thank you for voting for Jordin Sparks" recording), all I got was what sounded like the Moviefone guy saying, "Thank you for voting for director no. 4." What, they can't afford to change the recording every week? Lazy.

Now, I don't think this is such a hot idea for a show, anyway. My guess is that someone said the words, "Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg present--" and an exec at Fox said "Sold!" without any further consideration. But I don't think the American audience is really all that interested in how movies are made. Yes, we're interested in the backstage stuff that involves celebrities, but it's not the same thing. We want the end product, not the process.

But this show could have been so much better.

And it could have been so much less white and male! Every woman director, and I assume every director of color, is always very aware that the stereotypical concept of a director is young, white and male. On the Lot had a chance to explode this image. But no. Again, they took the lazy way out, went for the preconceived idea. Of the remaining 15 contestants (they've only had one results show so far), 10 of them are young, white and male. One black guy, 4 women (2 of them women of color).

All this just perpetuates the idea that a director must be young, white and male. Just about every woman I've talked to in The Alliance of Women Directors has been told, "Gee, I don't know, you just don't look/feel/seem like a real director to me" in one way or another. And most of these women could direct most of these particular white boys under the table, based on the work of theirs that I've seen.

So On the Lot is a disappointment in just about every way. It's just like judging for a film festival, actually. You sit and wade your way through the dreck, your finger twitching on the fast forward button, hoping for that one short film that will rise above the morass, hoping for something with some cleverness, some freshness, some skill. And, just as with festival judging, you do find one, maybe two, that stand out.

But it could have... should have... been so much better.

HARRY POTTER AND THE SOUVENIR TRINKETS

Yes, I know it's primarily a way for various corporations to milk money out of Harry Potter long after the last book is published and the last DVD has been burned.

But I have been a theme-park lover since I was young enough to realize that Disneyland was (more or less) right down the road. So in 2009, I expect I will find myself braving the throngs to visit "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" at Universal Studios in Orlando. And I guess I'll have to take my kids along with me.

Immediately we all began coming up with ideas. An interactive Quidditch game that you could "fly" through (like the interactivity in the Buzz Lightyear ride at Disneyland). The three tasks from Goblet of Fire. A fully-explorable Hogwarts. (And Lee is asking for a fully-explorable Ministry of Magic, but I doubt that'll happen.)

The movie's production designer is designing the "world," so the look should be right. Of course, it'll be based on the movies, not on the books, so we loyalists will certainly have some quibbles. But I expect I'll still be dropping a bundle on souvenirs anyway.

How about you? Will you go? Or is the whole idea just too cheesy? And if you go, what ride/attraction ideas do you think they should include?

ONE LAST READ...

With only 49 days left till the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I felt the only right thing to do was to re-read the entire series one last time... the last time I will read it without knowing the ending.

I realize I started late on this, given the thousands of pages to cover! I've been reading a chapter or so each night, but I'm only nearing the end of Sorcerer's Stone, so I'm going to have to step it up.

No amazing insights so far, but that's okay. I'm really just reading for pleasure... and a pleasure indeed it is. It's quite nice to re-read with my analytical mind turned off, actually. What good stories these are!

At the other end of the saga, I have to get to the end of reading Half-Blood Prince to Sabrina (with Lee and Cory sitting in, of course). We're up to chapter 21, I believe, so on the downslope to the end.

I know I can't be the only one doing a last readthrough. Anyone else out there?

PROCRASTINATION AS A NECESSITY

Just wanted to call everyone's attention to the quote of the month, over in the right hand column. This month's quote comes to us courtesy of Albert Einstein, who knew whereof he spoke on this subject. It's said that he did his best creative thinking while sitting idly on a bus.

That, of course, ties in to the "bed/bath/bus" theory some espouse regarding creativity. The idea is that if we work too hard at being creative, we won't produce anything of note. But if we let our creative project slip to the back burner, as it were, and just noodle away at it when we're ostensibly doing something else -- sleeping, taking a shower, driving -- we'll hit a bull's eye. Paul Simon (one of my writing heroes), for instance, plays throws a ball against a wall when he's trying to write. That fits.

I have often touted the importance of procrastination in the writing process. At first I thought I was just being lazy, or that I needed the pressure of an impending deadline to make me buckle down. But I've come to realize that the procrastination is part of the process itself. It allows that "back burner" work to be done so it can all click into place. (Of course, one has to make sure one doesn't procrastinate too much!)

So when I see Cory wandering the house aimlessly when he's supposed to be working, supposed to be doing a "30-minute write" for English class, I don't chew him out. I know that, appearances to the contrary, he is working. (And then we have interesting discussions on whether that "30 minute" rule is supposed to apply to just the writing, or to the thinking and writing combined!)

So as we approach the lazy, hazy days of summer, just keep in mind... "Creativity is the residue of time wasted..."