BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER: THE THEME OF FAMILY IN DEATHLY HALLOWS

Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

"I show you not your face but your heart's desire."

What does Harry see when he looks in the Mirror of Erised, way back in Sorcerer's Stone?

...A woman standing right behind him was smiling at him and waving. He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him. If she really was there, he'd touch her, their reflections were so close together, but he felt only air -- she and the others existed only in the mirror.

She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes -- her eyes are just like mine, Harry thought, edging a little closer to the glass. Bright green -- exactly the same shape, but then he noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry's did.

Harry was so close to the mirror now that his nose was nearly touching that of his reflection.

"Mom?" he whispered. "Dad?"

They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry's knobbly knees -- Harry was looking at his family, for the first time in his life.

The Potters smiled and waved at Harry and he stared hugrily back at them, his hands pressed flat against the glass as though he was hoping to fall right through it and reach them. He had a powerful kind of ache inside him, half joy, half terrible sadness.

Harry's heart's desire, from Book 1 on, hasn't been to conquer Voldemort. It certainly hasn't been to be the most famous person in the Wizarding World. It hasn't even been to win the love of Ginny.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Harry's treasure, his heart's desire, is clear from the beginning: To have a family, to be part of a family.

Given that that's where Harry started, back when he was 11 years old, it's no wonder that we end his story in Deathly Hallows [DH] with the theme of Family resonating clear and strong throughout the book. Everywhere we turn in the story, we are reminded of the vital importance of Family. Let's take a look at how this theme finds its expression.

Harry's Family

Harry has had his family taken away from bit by bit through his story. First his parents. Then his godfather. Then his father figure, Dumbledore.

And finally even the Dursleys.

I know, I know, it may seem as if the Dursleys shouldn't be included in that list. They only matter because of the link to Lily, because of the protection provided by her blood, which Petunia also shares. The only time Harry's even really thought of them as family was when he had the sudden realization, at the age of 15, that Petunia was in fact his mother's sister, after she shows some knowledge of the Wizarding World at the beginning of Order of the Phoenix.

But we start DH with a most unexpected reminder that the Dursleys are indeed Harry's family, when Dudley, shockingly, tells Harry, "I don't think you're a waste of space.". He even goes out of his way to shake Harry's hand. An embarrassing moment for Harry, but a lovely one, allowing him to leave the Dursleys' home with a sense of finality.

As Harry goes his way and the Dursleys go theirs, the end result is that yet one more layer of family is stripped away from Harry. He is truly alone, no longer protected by the love of his mother, as we see immediately when the Death Eaters attack "The Seven Potters."

So who does Harry have left? He has Ron and Hermione. And to make those relationships crystal clear, Harry tells us (and Ron) where he stands:

"She's like my sister," he went on. "I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew."

Hermione as Harry's sister makes Ron, ultimately, Harry's brother(-in-law), as does his eventual marriage to Ginny. No wonder it's of them he thinks when he's trapped in the "solid" enchanted air of Hogsmeade and he needs a happy memory:

He raised his wand: He could not, would not, suffer the Dementor's Kiss, whatever happened afterward. It was of Ron and Hermione that he thought as he whispered, "Expecto Patronum!"

So Harry is not alone, even as bereft as he has been of family through his trials. And yet... and yet... we see his longing for a real family when he looks up at the magically-transformed statue in the village square at Godric's Hollow. What a lovely image. Instead of a plaque or "official" memorial, the Wizarding World chose to commemorate Lily and James's sacrifice and Harry's victory over Voldemort with a statue of a happy family... A reminder of the image Harry saw, the longing he felt, way back when he looked into the Mirror of Erised.

Reminders of Harry's family aren't enough to drive home the theme in DH, however. Over and over, we see both crucial plot points and moments that make our hearts ache reflected in Parent-Child Relationships.

Parent-Child Relationships in DH

Over and over we see parent-child relationships come to the forefront in DH, in a way we really haven't through the series, given how absent most families are from the plot while we're at Hogwarts.

We begin with Hermione taking care of her parents, whom we've barely seen in the series. Normally we would expect parents to care of their child, but Hermione's parents are of course helpless in the Wizarding World, so the tables are flipped:

"I've also modified my parents' memories so that they're convinced they're really called Wendell and Monica Wilkins, and that their life's ambition is to move to Australia, which they have now done. That's to make it more difficult for Voldemort to track them down and interrogate them about me -- or you, because unfortunately, I've told them quite a bit about you.

"Assuming I survive our hunt for the Horcruxes, I'll find Mum and Dad and lift the enchantment. If I don't -- well, I think I've cast a good enough charm to keep them safe and happy. Wendell and Monica Wilkins don't know that they've got a daughter, you see."

Hermione's eyes were swimming with tears again..."

Hermione has here voluntarily turned herself into an orphan, making herself Harry's equal. And note that she hasn't even allowed herself the self-pitying luxury of letting others know the sacrifice she's made ("Well, frankly, I think Arthur and I have a right to know, and I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Granger would agree!" said Mrs. Weasley).

The importance of parents to their children comes up again when Lupin offers to join the trio in their quest. But Harry, who never knew his father, immediately sees through to the heart of this bogus offer: Lupin is trying to get out of his marriage to Tonks, trying to find a way to justify abandoning his unborn child:

Lupin actually seized handfuls of his own hair; he looked quite deranged.
"My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it -- how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!"

"Remus!" whispered Hermione, tears in her eyes. "Don't say that -- how could any child be ashamed of you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Hermione," said Harry. "I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

In a book, a series, so full of reminders of pity and forgiveness, here we see Hermione ready to offer forgiveness and understanding -- and it's Harry who smacks down the possibility. Harry knows what it's like to grow up without a father. He knows, even though he grew up without his dad, what a father's love means: "My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?"

Lupin wants to choose what is easy. Harry is here to remind him of, to force him into what is right.

For Lupin, the easy route is to abandon his child. For Xenophilius Lovegood, the easy route is to abandon his principles and beliefs to try to save his child:

"They took my Luna," he whispered. "Because of what I've been writing. They took my Luna and I don't know where she is, what they've done to her. But they might give her back to me if I-- if I--"

"Hand over Harry?" Hermione finished for him....

"No deal," said Ron flatly. "Get out of the way, we're leaving."

Zenophilius looked ghastly, a century old, his lips drawn back into a dreadful leer.

"They will be here at any moment. I must save Luna. I cannot lose Luna. You must not leave."

He spread his arms in front of the staircase, and Harry had a sudden vision of his mother doing the same thing in front of his crib.

Look at the contrast we see here. The parent who sacrifices herself for her child -- Lily. The parent willing to sacrifice his child to assuage his own feelings of guilt -- Lupin. And the parent willing to sacrifice someone else's children to save his own -- Xenophilius. (Fortunately Lupin will change his mind, thanks to Harry's refusal to accept his bad choice -- no wonder Harry ends up being Teddy's godfather!)

Parents aren't the only ones who can prove themselves (or not) on behalf of their children, however. Neville, who so gloriously comes into his own in the finale of DH, frames his incredible courage in the light of his parents: "[Gran] sent me a letter," he clapped a hand to the breast pocket of his robes, "telling me she was proud of me, that I'm my parents' son, and to keep it up."

The importance of parent-child relationships even echoes through the ages, we find, when we learn that the reason Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem -- the Fifth Horcrux -- has been lost is because her daughter, Helena Ravenclaw, stole it from her. Now there's a parent-child spat that ends up having crucial significance in Wizarding history!

Finally, any look at the importance of parent-child relationships in DH would not be complete without seeing the sheer force of a parent's love expressed in a way that does not involve sacrifice, as Molly Weasley rushes to defend her daughter:

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

Mrs. Weasley threw off her cloak as she ran, freeing ehr arms. Bellatrix spun on the spot, roaring with laughter at the sight of her new challenger.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" shouted Mrs. Weasley to the three girls, and with a swipe of her wand she began to duel. Harry watched with terror and elation as Molly Weasley's wand slashed and twirled, and Bellatrix Lestrange's smile faltered and became a snarl. Jets of light flew from both wands, the floor around the witches' feet became hot and cracked; both women were fighting to kill.

"No!" Mrs. Weasley cried as a few students ran forward, trying to come to her aid. "Get back! Get back! She is mine!"....

"What will happen to your children when I've killed you?" taunted Bellatrix, as mad as her master, capering as Molly's curses danced around her. "When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"

"You -- will -- never -- touch -- our -- children -- again!" screamed Mrs. Weasley.

More than just name-calling, note that the exchange between the two women is all about family, all about the relationships between parents and children...

More to come...

Family resonates through DH thematically in Harry's life, and in the multitude of parent-child relationships we see... but that's not all. I'll continue thoughts on the subject of Family in my next post, where we'll look at the one wizarding family we've really gotten to know as a family through the series, the Weasleys... and where we'll also question how the issue and theme of Family plays into what Voldemort is doing in DH, and in how the climax of the book and the series plays out.

Let me know your thoughts!